Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Where it all began
By Sara M | Season 5 | Episode 23 | Aired on 11.12.1998
There’s a shot of Mary on the bus. Her face is without expression.
JTT calls up his family. Unfortunately for me, his crappy sister answers and is all precocious and smart-ass. JTT says he can’t get home in time, so his sister decides to send him the money for a plane ticket. Well, when I was ten, I didn’t have enough money for a plane ticket, but fine. JTT goes to the airport, but can’t pick up the ticket because he has no ID. So he sneaks into a dog carrier headed for New York. No explanation is provided on how he is able to do this. Anyway, the dog farts a lot and the trip is unpleasant. As is the watching of it.
Back at JTT’s house, Dad’s upset because it’s 5:06 and JTT isn’t home yet.
JTT tries to sneak onto a train going to his hometown, but gets caught for not having a ticket. He gets thrown off the train instead of arrested.
Dad pokes a stick at the fire and is still upset.
JTT gets a ride to his home by climbing on top of white station wagon and lying there while holding the ski rack. No mention is made of how dangerous this is. Once, my brother drove a car with a girl riding on top of it, and then he stopped the car and she went flying off, split her head open, and got our family’s car insurance policy cancelled. Again. The car turns, and JTT is upset, I guess because it’s not going towards his house anymore. He bangs on the roof of the car, but for some reason the lady driving doesn’t hear him. Are you kidding me? You can be sure I would have heard that. I probably would have freaked out too, and driven the car into a guardrail and gotten the family insurance policy cancelled. Again. JTT decides to jump off the car and lands on his head, which does not split open. JTT stands up and sees that he is in the middle of a holiday parade. I see some dreidls there as well, which will be the first and last mention of Hannukah in this film. By the way, did you know that JTT’s name is actually Jonathan Weiss? Yep. He changed it to JTT so it would sound less Jewish. And now he’s starring in a Christmas movie, so I guess it worked. JTT spots a one-horse open sleigh and steals it. Another guy in a Santa suit runs out of a port-a-potty and wonders where his sleigh went. Toilets are pretty damn funny, but portable toilets and people who use them and then get their stuff stolen? A comedy gold mine. I fell off my chair in irritation. I mean, "in laughter."
JTT drives his sleigh into a bunch of well-meaning carolers. He stops in front of Mary’s house, where he sees her in the window, putting an ornament on the family tree. JTT, come on -- get going home to your Porsche. A Porsche is so much better than your bitchy girlfriend who is taller then you so it looks awkward anyway. But no, JTT has found the true meaning of Christmas, so he apologizes to her and they make up. They kiss, and Mary has to bend over since she’s a foot taller than JTT. They then proceed to JTT’s house, running over carolers on the way. By the way, the carolers are all dressed in clothes from A Christmas Carol. Does anyone actually do that? Why does this movie have so many references to Victorian England?