Episode Report Card Kim: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Last Five Minutes
By Kim | Season 15 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.25.2012
Hey, my other least favorite part of the results show: the troupe. So they do a routine.
Brooke interviews more people backstage. They're trying really hard. The problem with having people who've been on the show before is that they have all their soundbites prepared and ready to go, and thus their interviews are really, really boring. I don't love Kristie but at least there's always a possibility that she'll say something outrageous or unscripted.
More results. Emmitt fanned his head backstage before his dance and I empathized with him, because I am always hot. Gilles was doing an interview while Peta totally adjusted her boobs behind him and he had no clue. I don't think Gilles and Peta have the chemistry that Gilles had with Cheryl and I'm a little worried. Sabrina was overly excited and overdanced a bit, but Louis talked her down afterwards. So which are these three are safe? Tom says that Emmitt and Cheryl and Gilles and Peta are "all safe!" They hear "all" and think that means Louis and Sabrina are safe too. Oops. And then Sabrina and Louis are safe too. Brooke says, "That was terrible" and someone on stage curses and what just happened? Well, at least it got my attention.
Justin Bieber. Aren't we, as a culture and society, done with him now? Isn't there another prepubescent boy with toothpick arms and some white boy dance moves out there looking to take over the crown? Also, he needs to stop grabbing his crotch while he dances. And I don't understand his dropped crotch leather pants. Wouldn't there be a lot of chafing with those? Isn't the point of leather pants that they're tight? I've officially given more thought to Justin Bieber in the last five minutes than ever before in my life. My favorite part is that when Tom and Brooke introduce the next segment, there's a lady behind in the audience who looks how I feel. She has such a WTF is this nonsense look on her face.
What about Kirstie? She kissed Tom, because she probably wasn't getting enough attention. Melissa was thrilled with her own performance and happy to get through the first performance. Pamela apparently had a bad rehearsal and I didn't notice last night but I think her boob almost popped out of her costume at one point. She obviously felt bad about her performance and prayed that she'd get a chance to dance again. So who is safe from this group? Kirstie and Melissa are safe, and Pamela is in jeopardy.
And now we finally get to find out who's going home. I don't know about you guys, but I'm exhausted. We also get some information about the standings: one of the couples is not really on the bottom, but the other two are the actual bottom two. Bristol and Mark are definitely safe. Wow, that's a shocker. And a bummer. That means Pamela and Tristan and Drew and Anna are the actual bottom two. If Drew goes home, I will shit a brick. Not really. But I will be surprised. So who's going home? Pamela and Tristan. Whew. I mean, I wanted her to stay, because I like her (and Tristan) better than some of the alternatives, but her dance was not good, and I would have felt really bad for Drew if he left the first week after winning his season. There's not much time for Pamela to chat, because they had so much important stuff to get to earlier, I guess. Lame.