Episode Report Card Niki: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There Be Dragons
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.18.1999
Cut to Rick and Jessie walking up to Karen's house. Like magic, Karen opens the door before they reach it, and Jessie's beaming face looks up at her. "Guess what?" Jessie asks, and of course, Karen just knows. She gushes how wonderful it is and then tells her where to find the "stuff" she needs in the bathroom. Rick and Karen stand in the doorway, swelling with pride as they watch her go. Karen calls out that she's "so proud" of Jessie. Karen suggests that Jessie spend some time with her, but Rick says they've got their hike all lined up. Disappointed, Karen says she'd always "planned this day for her." Does Hallmark make a card for getting your first period? Because I'm starting to think they're missing out on a big market. Jessie returns, and Karen tells her she wants to "celebrate with [her] somehow." Jessie suggests they go for a smoothie the next day. Wow, this is all so frank and well-adjusted I can't stand it. I cried like a baby when I entered the "wonderful world of womanhood" because, at the time, I didn't think the joy of being able to have kids outweighed the serious pain-in-the-ass I'd have to deal with every month for the next thirty to forty years. I also sensed somehow that being an adult wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
When they get back to Rick's apartment, he proclaims, "I will start the sandwiches," in a weird, strangled voice that I think is meant to be silly. Jessie remembers that she left her backpack in the truck, and turns around to go and get it. As she opens the door, though, Lily's standing there about to knock. Jessie says, "You're Lily," and the two smile at one another. Rick comes from the kitchen and tries to act surprised to see Lily. Everyone smiles awkwardly and Rick invites Lily inside. Suddenly, Jessie doesn't need her backpack anymore but instead follows Rick and Lily into the kitchen. As Rick gets back to making sandwiches, he explains the tradition of this hike to Lily -- every autumn, he and Jessie go for a hike to see the changing leaves. Eli comes bounding in at that point to tell Rick he needs some money, and stops dead when he sees Lily there. Rick says, "You know Lily, right? Grace's mom?" Hello, Rick? That's not exactly a selling point. Rick, Eli, and Jessie bustle around the kitchen on various missions, and we get to see that Lily's pretty much in the way. Jessie heads off to her room for a minute to look for her knapsack there, and while she's gone, Rick pulls it out from under a pile of stuff on the counter. He removes a Tupperware container from it, and there's a collective groan and gaggy faces all around as they examine the contents. Jessie returns from her room in time to identify the remains as a turkey sandwich. She then looks at Lily and asks, point-blank, how old she is. Lily answers, "Forty. How old are you?" "Twelve," is the matter-of-fact response. The two look at each other in an appraising, yet not unfriendly, way. Lily then says she'd better go, but Rick asks her to stay. He goes back to slicing tomatoes and asks Jessie if she wants some on her sandwich. Jessie tells him she just wants an apple, but he tells her that she needs to eat more than that and then informs Lily again about the big hike they're going on. He's going a little overboard trying to convince Jessie that he and Lily are really just buddies and Lily hasn't already heard all about this trip. Jessie tells Lily that Rick's really into "this outward-bound thing. He'd like it best if we were helicoptered in and left in the middle of nowhere with three matches and a knife." Rick ha-ha-very-funny's this comment and then says, "Lily, do you like to hike?" He says it in this really staged, exaggerated way, as if he were talking to his puppet sidekick on some kids' morning show. He says that if she does, maybe all of them can go hiking together sometime...