Episode Report Card Jeff Long: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Know You Are But Why Are We Designing For Giants?
By Jeff Long | Season 9 | Episode 3 | Aired on 08.11.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So, apparently, everyone thinks that Fallene doesn't belong here? Whatever. I think she's rad. Anthony is feeling special. When they get to the runway, Heidi is on stilts. She doesn't fall. Sorry. She tells them that they have to think "big" for their next challenge. All of their models are on stilts. They are working in teams of 2- Bert and Viktor are working together, which really bothers Viktor. Bert, in turn, is frustrated by Viktor's response. This is going to be interesting. Anya and Olivier are team members and that seems like it's going to be perfect, right?
There is tons of weirdo competition. Viktor and Bert seriously don't get along and, despite what the producers of this show tried to make me believe, I feel that Viktor was a totally disrespectful asshole. Bryce and Fallene are team members and Bryce takes over, which, to me, is not a good thing. Also, Kimberly and Becky don't click. Neither do Josh and Julie. But, Bert and Viktor take the cake. They argue in front of Tim and he's, of course, all telling them to make it work. Fallene is, look away, SELF-TAUGHT and Bryce talks a ton of shit about her. Fine, she needs to know some stuff, but Bryce is no sort of genius.
Wait. Danielle and Cecilia don't get along either. Fallene totally falls apart. Like, she can't finish shit and she starts crying and she's clearly a lovely person who maybe doesn't belong on this show. She doesn't trust herself and it's a nightmare. She cuts some stuff off-grain and he deems the bodice that it affected not runway-worthy. So, he decides to make a tube-top instead. Hmm.
The runway show is a public affair that happens on the water in NYC. All of the judges are in black. Fallene cries about having made nothing for her look and Tim tries very hard to talk her down. OK, briefly, can we talk about how hot and stupid that one husband is on the Russian Dolls show that's happening? God help me if I have to write about it, but hubba. That's all. Heidi is seriously so incredibly gorgeous at this show. Awards. Someone needs them. But, shoot me in my face, Kim "Kill Me" Kardashian is the guest judge. New Low? We found it. Oh. No. Make all the excuses you want, but she's trash and WHY?
So, this is the dumbest runway show ever. Just not cool. To me, Becky and Kimberly were the first to not really suck. That's not true -- Viktor and Bert were not bad, but grrr. There's a lot of crap. I just don't like designs on stilts. Anya and Olivier are safe. Joshua and Julie, Bryce and Fallene and Bert and Viktor have the lowest scores. Laura wins the challenge! Anthony doesn't get immunity though. Weird. Laura was happy that AR was so gracious. Fallene and Viktor are the bottom 2. It's rough. Fallene is out. This sucks. I don't know if anyone is paying attention, but two of my top picks are out and only one of my bottom picks has ever been in the bottom 3. I hate everything.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers encountered the "unconventional" challenge, where they were required to make looks from non-living items found in a pet store. Josh C. attempted to fly under the radar, but instead crashed into it and was eliminated. Bert made no friends by being a slacker during his week of immunity.
I'm still not digging Nina and Michael in the credits. It's ridiculous to even write but... it lacks dignity. It's morning at the Atlas building. Josh M. and Bryce are grooming and lamenting the departure of Josh C. Josh M. feels that he had so much more talent than Fallene, who apparently doesn't stop talking about being a hairdresser. He doesn't think she's much of a designer. That's not an entirely bitchy point to make.
Now, we see Becky and Fallene trying to wake up in their beds. Fallene says that she's nervous about the day's challenge and wonders if maybe she's too normal a person to be on this show. I mean, that's an interesting question, but I have a feeling she's talking about stuff that we haven't seen. In fact, though I feel like production has made attempts, I've never gotten a real sense of the apparently uniform rigors that the twenty-seven seasons of this show have endured. They all react in the same way, but I'm usually like, "You want to make clothes, right? That's what you're doing right now, isn't it? Suck on your binky." That said, all of these interviews must take place during the time that they're working, so they don't even probably get the actual allotted time to work on their designs. Or, they film them after the workday- meaning they get even less sleep than we think. And, the sleep deprivation has always seemed like the hardest part to me, but not something that would make me wonder if I was too normal. Incredible mysteries. Fallene says that her way of designing is a lot more artistic (read: non-technical) than what they have to do on the show. She's glad the judges gave her a second shot.
I really like Anthony's boots. He has two of them. He interviews that he's feeling good so far. After being in the top three for the first two challenges, he's looking to rock his first win. All buffed and medicated, the designers make their way to Parson's.
Heidi appears behind the scrim on the runway with what appears to be eight-foot long legs and I'm talking like actually eight feet. And, the silhouette suggests that she's wearing leg warmers big enough to smuggle Reese Witherspoon through Canadian customs. Bitch even waves to them from ABOVE the scrim. I bet this was part of one of her big swingin' Halloween parties. She finally enters the runway wearing stilts. Sadly, there are no leg warmers, simply flared pants. She asks how everything is going "down there" and Anthony's like, "Haven't we covered this?" Someone please stop me. She says that there is a reason she is dressed like that and Laura interviews that it appears that they are going to the circus. More like "ohmygodwe'regoingtothecircus." She's so not excited she couldn't enunciate. I feel her. Bryce is also not thrilled but it's more of a nerves thing.