Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Never Can Say Goodbye
By Kim | Season 7 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.23.2008
I wish they would just tell us who's going home now, because I feel bad for the celebs having to run back and forth on every commercial break. But instead, we find out that the next couple to be dancing will be... Cloris and Corky. Cloris starts to wander offstage. Where is she going? So Corky and Cloris rehearse the mambo. Cloris finds out that she's older than the mambo. For some reason, they practice while holding the wall. I don't know. I'm a little worried that Cloris is going to throw a hip. Her outfit tonight is like Carmen Miranda was dipped in gold, and not in a good way. At one point, Corky is behind her slapping her ass and pretending to ride her like a horse. Corky! That is not appropriate! There's not much dancing. Corky tries to do everything he can to make it seem like something is happening, but mostly Cloris is just walking around. She does do a bunch of turns at the end, but big deal. Look, I like a feisty old broad as much as the next person, but I also like to see some dancing, and if she ends up staying longer than people who can actually dance, it will kind of suck. Cloris reveals that she bribed the judges, and they all hold up some bills. Carrie Ann gives hers back, and Cloris goes to collect it, commenting that she knows the judges don't get much money. Carrie Ann gives Cloris points for entertaining. When Len starts to speak, Cloris goes over to show her cleavage again and Len finally gets out that he gives points to Corky for his choreography. Bruno says something but between Cloris's wandering around and grabbing the judges and everything, I don't even know. She certainly is unpredictable, and I do love that, even if Tom Bergeron looks like he's about to have a coronary. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Cloris says that she's leaving after those scores. Not like she's going to be sent home, but like she's going to walk off. Corky is hugging Cloris from behind, and I think he's restraining her. Cloris demands that she get to stick around, and she thinks the judges are mean.
The next couple safe to dance is... Toni and Alec. As they rehearse their quickstep, Toni has to take a lot of breaks because of her heart trouble. Alec has her work on her breathing and keys it to the steps. She's holding her breath when she shouldn't, and breathing in when she should breathe out. Sounds complicated. So let's see if she makes it through without collapsing. This seems more like a waltz than a quickstep at first, although Toni's dress is lovely. They eventually add in a little more hopping and leaping and kicking. It seems like Toni is thinking too much, but I can't blame her. They end with a spin and Toni is careful to keep one foot on the floor. It was nice, but careful. Bruno thought it was beautiful, and he cautions her to watch her shoulders at the end. Carrie Ann was worried about her at the beginning, but she thinks they move well together. Len thought the whole thing was nice, although she had "a funny head" at one point. Tom gets a lot of mileage out of that comment. Backstage, Alec comments on how difficult it is not knowing when or even if you'll be able to dance, and then all of a sudden it's like, "Go! Go!" How about some scores? Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8.