Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Stool Pigeon
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.01.2003
And speaking of not making sense, here's Omar, watching his laundry dry. And I'm not kidding about that, either. That's really what he's doing. He's even moving his head in little circles as he stares into the dryer. My God, this guy is dumb. McManus enters, and Omar officially asks permission to visit with Lemuel Idzik. "Uh, that would be a no," replies McManus. Omar, having exhausted all the murderous creativity his four remaining brain cells can muster, smacks his forehead repeatedly in frustration.
The Schillinger Boys would like to remind you that forgiveness is like tofu. No, really. It is.
At a staff meeting, Leo informs the others that Oz will be hosting the third annual Correctional Officer's Awards Banquet in a few weeks. Most people seem pleased, but Claire is disappointed that it's always Oz that gets stuck hosting the event. I wonder why. Are there other, more scenic prisons where they could be holding their party? Someplace with working lights and no dead bodies in the closets, perhaps? And furthermore, exactly what sort of awards do you think they give out at these things, anyway? Is there a trophy for having the highest per capita murder rate? The most depraved sex crime? Are there categories? Best Prisoner? Best Guard? Best Supporting Utensil? The mind fairly boggles. Leo reminds them all that it's a black-tie event, and I so can't be the only person who thinks Claire's gonna go Carrie on this thing, can I? Anyway, after everyone else has filed out of the room, Murphy sidles over to Leo and awkwardly confesses his role in the maiming of Morales. He also implicates Claire and Dave Brass, and then delivers a lengthy monologue on the lonely life of a tattletale. Leo, on the other hand, barely even bats an eyelash at the news that his guards are running amok and slicing up prisoners at will. I guess he's still hoping to win that coveted Joe Arpaio Lifetime Achievement In Inmate Mismanagement trophy. Good luck, Leo!
Hospital. Nurse Nasty smacks a patient on the nose, which is always good for a giggle, and then Leo shows up to inform Morales that he's being returned to Em City. Enrique is suitably grateful, although he does ask the warden if he knows anything about Nurse Nasty. Then he bashfully admits that he's afraid of her, which is also good for a giggle. Leo tells him that his medication must be messing with his head, and leaves without ever knowing just how right he's about to be.
Next we get Dave Brass, who finds Neck String Bobby in the Em City computer cluster and tries to convince him that Morales is the one to blame for the whole stolen lottery money thing. In other words, Brass O'Reilys Rebadow. And he's not very good at it, so I'm not going to bother recapping it.