Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Not So New, Not Especially Improved
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.12.2005
At Lorelai's, Luke is waiting on Lorelai so that they can go to dinner. Unfortunately, there has been a purse/shoe incident that threatened the outcome of the whole ensemble. "It's technical," she calls down from upstairs. "You wouldn't understand." Luke says he doesn't want to understand -- he wants to leave, because he's starving. By the way, the wig is in full effect, here, causing me to renew my objection. Also, why is Luke wearing pants and not jeans? I need regular Luke. Put an unshaved guy with a floppy-bang wig in anything but jeans and it makes him look about one gold chain away from the USA Network. Look closer and you'll see I'm right. Anyway, Lorelai tells him to watch TV if he needs something to do. "How is that a response to 'I'm starving'?" The doorbell rings, and she suggests that answering it might be fun for him. He rightly says that he's not bored because he's six years old, he's bored because she told him to pick her up at 7 and it is now 8:30. An excellent point, but he answers the door anyway. It's Paris, all in a tizzy. "Who are you?" she asks Luke, by way of greeting, and barges in. He tries to introduce himself, to no avail, until Lorelai comes down and does it. It's hard for me to imagine that this is the first time Paris has met Luke. Is it? That doesn't seem right.
Anyway, Paris launches in to the whole sad tale of Rory quitting Yale, but Lorelai is steadfast in her nonchalance about the issue. "It's Logan," Paris says. "That Christopher Atkins wannabe is the reason that she's suddenly Blue Lagooning it right out of school." You go, Paris. And, she does. Lorelai tries to shut her up, unsuccessfully. Paris rants that Lorelai can sure pull "some of that supermom crap" to make Rory change her mind. From the peanut gallery, Luke agrees. Paris adds that Rory cannot quit Yale, and that they must do something. More agreement from Luke and his wig. Paris even hits on Luke's earlier suggestion of kidnapping Rory and making her listen to reason. I so wish they would do that. Paris sits down, lamenting that she needs Rory, because Rory's the only one who's ever given Paris any real competition: "She's my pace car. She's my Björn Borg. Without her...I'll get lazy. I'll fall apart. I'll have frosted hair and dragon lady nails. I'll achieve nothing; I'll become my mother." Lorelai tries to stop the spiral, assuring Paris that she's smart and driven and can become anything she wants, "except a diplomat." Paris ratchets it down about one one-zillionth of a notch, and the truth comes out: "Rory is my only friend. She stays in the room until I am completely done saying something; I need that." Aw, man. Lorelai makes what may be the colossal mistake of giving Paris her cell number in case Paris ever needs to talk to someone. Paris says she's going to hold Lorelai to her offer of being able to call her any time, anywhere. "It's not a threat, sweetie, if somebody makes the offer willingly," Lorelai tells her, handing over the number. As much as I really do love Paris, I would never want her to have my number. (Ah, what's that? Several of my friends commenting that I never answer the phone, anyway? I can hear you.)