Episode Report Card Gustave: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Day 2: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on December 16, 2002
Hey, it's me, Kiefer. And if I were one of those fame whores, I'd totally mention that I was featured in People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" issue earlier this month. Okay, I'm not the sexiest man alive -- this year anyway -- but I'm featured in the issue as one of those "other sexiest men" who weren't quite as sexy as Ben Affleck. Whatever. And then they have all of the "sexiest elderly doctor guy" or "sexiest fat guy" or "sexiest black guy" photos in the back of the piece, but I'm further up front with the other sexy guys like Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant. In fact, I'm not too far behind George Clooney. Not that I noticed or anything. My publicist just told me that. Anyway, I totally don't even know why I brought it up. I hate talking about this kind of thing. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah. There's this rumor I just wanted to address. Apparently there's been talk of me being out of control and drinking too much. How, if I were a fame whore like Whitney Houston, I'd go on Diane Sawyer and apologize to my fans for being a crackhead. But I'm not, so I'll just say this. I'm not an alcoholic, but being this genetically talented, sexy, and charismatic is such a burden that I must drink to dull the pain.
Previouslys. Papa Crew is in trouble with the feds. Soul Patch brings everyone into CTU for questioning except Cate, who stays behind to dig though her father's personal files. Jack and Nina go to Visalia to capture Mamud Faheen. Nina steals a gift card. Everyone is looking for Ron Weiland, the nosy reporter who Palmer sequestered. Lady Mac is valuable to Palmer, but no one else in the office wants her around. Crazy Laura is found in the trunk of DaddyStopTouchingMe's car, which just happens to be Spawn, Miguel, and JonBenet's escape vehicle.
Along to road to Aunt Carol's house, the blue Lexus is still parked by the side of the highway while more police officers arrive on the scene. JonBenet is being babysat by some back-up officers, and Spawn and Enricky are answering questions about the body in the trunk of their car…a car that isn't theirs. Spawn is stunned by the remembered sight of Crazy Laura's body still fresh in her mind, and admits to the police officer that they weren't given permission to use the car. Enricky tries to explain that they were trying to get JonBenet away from her abusive father, and that it was said abusive father who killed Crazy Laura and stashed her in the trunk. The policeman with tonight's speaking part asks the TeenTwosome why they didn't go to the police instead of letting the police find them twenty miles outside of L.A.