Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hit the Road, Jack
By Kim | Season 7 | Episode 15 | Aired on 11.05.2008
Backstage, the dancers are divided into their two teams. So now Samantha is making out like Susan actually chose her teams instead of picking them randomly, because she asks her why she chose Lance and Lacey first. I don't understand this at all. Samantha reveals that next week, the stars will have to do a solo portion of their Latin dance. That should be... interesting? Also, Samantha hates that the couples are so nice to each other. She wants them to be more MEAN!
Here's Lionel Richie! He won an Oscar, and I had to look up what it was for; it was Best Song for the song "Say You, Say Me" from White Nights. First of all, that was one of his worst songs. He had a real string of crap there in the mid-1980s, didn't he? Then again, who didn't in the mid-1980's? Not a great time for pop music. And also, I saw that movie in the theater, and for a movie starring Mikhail Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines there was not nearly enough dancing. So Lionel sings his new song "Good Morning" while Alec and Edyta dance, and it's not that compelling of a dance, but they sure do have chemistry. Which they should, since they're married.
Samantha reviews the standings, and then Tom and Samantha reveal the first safe couple of the night. And it is... Maurice and Cheryl.
Yay! It's time for Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice and Len Goodman in DanceCenter. Kenny is heavily made-up, as always. Jerry Rice is wearing an Afro wig and glitter eyebrows. Kenny starts by telling Len that Michael Flatley is a better judge, but he just didn't have time to take over on the show. Their analysis begins with Warren, who Kenny says is "fat with both an F and a PH." Jerry reveals that Warren not only tackled him, but took him out of a game once, so he's not a big Warren fan. Kenny goes to the tape to review Warren's many winks to camera. Len starts going on about how awesome Warren is and Kenny totally cuts him off and then plugs his own web show on ESPN.com. This causes Jerry to plug his fake product, Jerry Curl. Who knew Jerry Rice was so funny? I don't know if Kenny Mayne writes all of these segments, or brings his own writers, but they are about a million times better than anything else on this show.
Next up is Susan Lucci. Kenny makes jokes about how skinny she is. Len goes on about how we forget that Susan is in her 60s, and she dances clear and clean, but she doesn't always wow them. Kenny compares her to a veteran racehorse. That's flattering. Kenny thinks that Tony practices mind control, because he's always got that creepy big smile. I enjoy that they're poking fun at the dancers as well as the stars.