Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crazy Like A Phlox
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.22.2003
Trip and Reed attempt to reason with the Geobulans, who are really very placid about potentially getting executed. One of them even argues that, as the government changes so often, a new one will probably be in place by the time they're done. Trip shouts that they can't risk their lives for rocks. "Rocks? This is the most remarkable collection of speleothems we've ever seen. There's calcite, aragonite, botyroidal flowstone -- I've spent fourteen years searching for tractosites this perfect. These samples could provide clues to prevent seismic disasters on Denobula," Head Geobulan yammers. Funny, all I heard was "rocks, rocks, pretty rocks, rocks." Trip relents and asks how much time they need. "Two weeks, maybe three," a Geobulan hazards. Trip gets annoyed and says he risked a lot to get to them: "Now I've got an injured man waiting for us and we've got just enough time to get out of here before we end up in front of a Xantoras firing squad. My orders are to bring you back and I promise you that's what I'm going to do!" I'm waiting for Trip to jump around, saying, "Help me to help you!" Head Geobulan snits that they can't force them to leave. "Wanna bet? We didn't risk our lives jest to hear you say 'thanks but no thanks,' so pack up yer bags, because I swear, I'll tie you up and drag you out by yer ankles if that's how you wannit," Trip says. I'd definitely buy that Trip's had a lot of practice in hog tying. "We have a lot of samples, we'll need your help," Head Geobulan relents. They get to work.
Sick Bay. Phlox basically tells Denotbulan that he's going to treat him, so he might as well suck it up. Phlox then explains that he tried to raise his children to know the truth about the Antarans: "I told them about our military campaigns against your people, about how we demonized you, turned you into a faceless enemy -- I wanted them to learn to judge people for what they really are not what the propaganda tells them." Denotbulan sniffs that Phlox couldn't possibly know what Antarans really are. Phlox doesn't let Denotbulan get to him; he agrees, but says he's happy to say his children would consider his grandmother's beliefs archaic. "All of them but one," Phlox amends. He explains that his son, Mettus, was seduced by people who still kept the Neo-Denobulan movement alive and was taken in by all their beliefs. "I told him I wouldn't tolerate the values he was embracing. It created a rift between us. Maybe I didn't do enough to reach him -- the last time we spoke was ten years ago." Phlox pauses briefly to collect himself before going on, "You wanted to know what my children would think if they were here now. I can tell you what Mettus would think -- he would be happy to have me grant your request and let you die." Denotbulan looks pained. "But that is not the example I try to set for my children. Why not live? Set an example for yours," Phlox encourages.
Clan of the Claustrophobic Cave Bear. Trip and Reed crawl through the really tiny spaces with the Geobulans. I toked on my inhaler, and now my hands are shaking a bit. One of the Geobulans stops in his progress to pull a Tupperware (Denobulaware) case of rocks out of the rock's wall. "What's going on up there?" Trip demands. "Keep moving!" Reed orders. "Are those rock samples?" Trip suddenly and amusingly accuses, "We can't carry any more!" "It took us six weeks to extract these from the rock bed," Geobulan whines. "If you don't start moving in five seconds, I'm gonna take my phase pistol and shoot you in the ass," Trip growls. The Geobulan whines that the samples are priceless. "One...two..." Trip counts, fumbling for his phase pistol. Dude, why are you stupid? Firing that could start an avalanche! The caverns shake, and rock falls around them. "GO!" Trip orders loudly. Elsewhere, May-Akebono looks concerned and backs himself into shelter, covering his head. Trip and Reed get ready to climb up the rock face; Trip thinks the shaking could be an earthquake. "Feels like weapons fire to me," Reed says. "Pretty high yield by the sound of it." "We've still got two hours until the deadline," Trip checks before suggesting that the Geobulans get their climbing gear on. "We don't have any climbing gear," Head Geobulan says. Reed's agog and clarifies, "You climbed down that rock face without any ropes, any safety equipment at all?" "Exactly," Head Geobulan says pleasantly. Trip tells him to get climbing, then. Okay, new facet of Denobulans learned tonight -- they are lemurs. A huge rock zooms toward them, and they all hug the wall to keep from being ground to a paste. Trip checks to make sure everyone's okay and then orders that they move out before they get trapped. I really hope that wasn't the ledge May-Akebono was English Patient-ed on.