Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Vampire LeSyd
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.08.2005
Whatever. Sloane tells everyone about Nancy shooting herself. Syd looks at her dossier and reads the last words uttered by Nancy: "Vertel hen het is grappig." Syd interprets this to say, "Tell them it is funny." But Babel Fish tells me it's actually, "Tells them it is funny." CloudyNL, one of the trusty posters who also happens to be from the lovely land of the Dutch, seemed to think that Nancy actually said, "Tell them it's not funny." But, as CloudyNL rightfully pointed out, this is really very bad Dutch, so all bets are off as to what Nancy REALLY said. So, yeah, Nancy said something in Dutch about something being funny or not funny. We're not sure. What we are sure about is that Jason, Nancy's husband, who is also a narc operative, has disappeared and hasn't been in touch with his handler for three weeks. The Appleseed Gang assignment? Locate Jason Cahill. Everyone gets their individual assignments, and Syd and Jack head off to Amsterdam and the Cahill's apartment.
Amsterdam. Syd and Jack enter the apartment. It's dark and all the light bulbs have been removed, so they have to creep around with their flashlights. They split up and Jack removes the back of the TV, finding a laptop hidden within. He inserts a USB key and starts copying the files. Syd looks under the kitchen sink and finds a hidden doorway with a padlock holding it closed. She feels a breeze coming out from behind it, so she quickly picks the padlock and opens the door. Oh, no, no, no, Sydney. Wherever there is a locked door, there is trouble. Just like wherever there is a dark place, there is a little dead boy with a gaping maw that emits the sound of a cat screeching. If there's one thing we learned from The Grudge, it's that stupid people who go into stupid houses and stick their hands into stupid dark places wind up dead. And stupid.
Syd hasn't seen The Grudge, apparently, because she just blithely heads into the hallway on the other side of the secret door. There are papers blowing around and plates of rotting food and flies and really super-creepy drawings scratched all over the walls and the Scary Violins of Vampires Are Real, We Swear screech across the soundtrack. Suddenly, Jason Cahill shows up and tackles Syd to the ground. He looks like he's possessed or something and his face resembles that of a gargoyle. Before Syd can fend him off with some of her jujitsu, Cahill opens up his mouth and sinks his teeth into her neck. Syd yells and shoves his face away, but Cahill then vomits this blackish blood all over her. I don't think it's Syd's own blood because he wasn't biting her long enough to have what looks to be approximately a half pint of plasma spilling out of his mouth. Jack shoots Cahill in the back and he dies instantly. Syd just sits up all, "Great. Nothing I needed more than a hickey from a damn psycho. Now I'll have to wear turtlenecks for the next three weeks. What a bitch."