Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Eisenstein, Tchaikovsky, and Babushkas
By M. Giant | Season 17 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.31.2010
Nat is da, da, done. She goes running back to the store, encountering Mallory on the street and telling her, "Wrong way, Mal." Team @ is off to the Pit Stop in fourth place. At the shitpile, Stephanie confesses, "This is so bad of me, but I'm about to toss it in to someone has to reach in there and get it." And with that, she tosses the shovel to the top of the pile, out of arm's reach. Ooh, judges' ruling on whether that's good for an interference penalty? I'll just tell you now that it's not, but I think it's pretty gray. Or perhaps brown. As Stephanie interviews next to a smirking Chad, "I knew that someone was going to have to struggle to get the shovel. That being Mallory." That being said, Mallory finds the sign, bellowing either "Thank you, Jesus!" or "Thank you! Jesus!" And sure enough, she has to step onto the pile to reach the shovel as Stephanie interviews, "Poor Mallory, she was probably covered in poop, she's so little." Well, at least she didn't sink very deep. Stephanie even lapses into an impression of Mallory that's so good it's not immediately clear where her interview voice leaves off and Mallory's in real time takes over. Mallory even briefly lost a shoe in the pile. "That was a special moment," she laughs after the fact. Ew. Well at least now she can lighten her backpack by one pair of socks.
Stephanie is planting potatoes, although she forgets the manure the first time. "I've got cow poop all over me," Mallory says as she scampers down the road with her wheelbarrow. "They go through a lot of trouble to have French fries," Stephanie remarks. Actually, Stephanie, I think they're going to a lot of trouble to have vodka, which I suspect you'll sympathize with after a few more years of shoveling the crap that comes from Chad. When Mallory finally arrives at the adjoining field, Stephanie says, "I hope Mallory has kind of a blonde moment." That is not a vain hope. Mallory is having a blonde life.
Nick and Vicki are out in the suburbs now, and she's looking on the bright side: "I'm glad it's not dark out and we're still racing around...We're not giving up, that's for sure." Nick looks like he's thinking, Speak for yourself.
Stephanie finishes the Road Block, and runs off thanking the babushkas in Russian. Mallory, left behind, says, "I've got a lot of manure. It's kind of been the theme of this leg of the race." Chad watches Stephanie run toward him up the dusty road I her babushka dress and cracks, "I'm gonna have to take that home and have you clean the house in that." That's lovely. Lay off the Mad Men, Chad, it's 2010. They're off to the Pit Stop in fifth pace. Mallory finishes up and gets her clue in sixth. Riding back in the cab, she holds out her filthy hands and says, "Lord, have mercy, this is cow poop." The cabbie looks at the camera like, Did I hear that right? And if so, don't touch anything. Mallory tells us, "I would chew my nails off right now at this point with manure under them not to be eliminated." And then she bugs her eyes out at us just to show us she means it. Would she then pray to Jesus with that mouth?