Episode Report Card Sara M: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Can't Spell "Exposit" Without S-E-X
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.27.2005
Ruthie goes back inside, and runs into RevCam, who is on his way out the door. She asks him where he's off to, and he replies that he feels like taking a ride. And he doesn't want Ruthie to come with him. And he's obviously going to see Simon.
Kevin's cell phone rings. That ring sounds a lot more like a landline ring than it does a cell phone, which is probably because the sound effects team, like everyone else associated with this show, couldn't care less. Really, it's a miracle that we don't hear, like, a doorbell when Savannah starts to "cry" or a door slamming when Happy "barks." Although that would make the show better. Excuse me, I have to write a letter to the 7th Heaven sound effects team.
Okay, I'm back. Kevin greets Simon's call with a charming "it looks like things are getting complicated like they do when people lie." They should have just made that the freaking title of this episode. Kevin talks about how Kirstie Alley is fat, but Simon says he has other problems to deal with right now. Kevin asks what they are. The scene ends. God, this show sucks. It sucks so bad. I know you know this, and I know it too, but sometimes I just need to say it.
Martin and Mac are still hanging out on the Promenade. They share this hilarious exchange:
Mac: Maybe we should just go home.
Martin: All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Mac: No, I meant to your home.
Martin: What are we gonna do at my home?
Tee hee hee! Martin pretends that Mac is talking about seeing Ruthie again, and Mac plays along that he can comfort Ruthie when she finds out about Vincent seeing another girl. Plus, Ruthie may need to talk to someone about Kirstie Alley's obesity issues, which Mac says must be terrible for all the Camdens. Martin points out that Mac has never even met Mary. Mac says he doesn't need to know Mary to be sympathetic. Considering that we don't need Mary to write an A-plot about her, I guess that's true.
Lucy and Happy enter Ruthie's room. Happy has been looking small lately; did they replace her? How many "Happy as Happy"s has this series gone through, anyway? And if they can recast Happy, why can't they recast SamVid? Ruthie and Lucy talk in circles about Kirstie Alley's weight problem, and whether or not they should tell the CamRents about it before Annie goes to New York. And then they sit around and talk shit about Mary, because this is everyone on this show's favorite hobby. Martin enters. Ruthie tells Lucy that Martin knows that Kirstie Alley is fat, and he told Mac and Vincent about it, too. Martin apologizes for this and asks Ruthie if she knows about Vincent. Ruthie says she knows all about how Kirstie Alley is fat and she doesn't mind, since Vincent told her the truth about it. Then Kevin enters the room and tells Lucy that Savannah needs her. Lucy asks if Kevin talked to Simon. "Goodnight!" Kevin quickly says to Martin and Ruthie as he grabs Lucy by the arm and pulls her out of the room. Hooray for harbingers of domestic violence!