Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 11 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Boobs McPhee: Wonder Whiner
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.19.2005
At the same time, Pierpont's beginning her questioning. Question #1: The select blood runs through? The answer: Roquet's Heart. Syd relays this to Dix. Question #2: The future's history is written in? The answer: The Ink of the past. Syd looks over at Boobs all, what in the HELL is up with these questions? Question #3: What the mirror reflects. Answer: Lives eternal. No, seriously, what's up with these questions? They're not even questions. They're more like the definitive statements of a raving loony. Question #4: If there was never a one, there was ever [insert suitably Rambaldi-esque answer here]. Just then, the hard drive goes batshit and Boobs can't get the answer. Dix rolls his eyes and looks at the ceiling and he and Getty play for time with some improvised "It's your turn!" and "No, it's YOUR turn!" dialogue. Heh. Boobs wracks her brain for the answer and suddenly comes up with "The Twelve." Dix repeats the answer and Pierpont hands over the computer. "Gentlemen? We are at your service."
Syd and Boobs leave their post and head home as Dix accesses Gordo's funds and withdraws everything. Peyton is just sitting at her desk, staring at the empty accounts. She runs off to Gordo and tells him about the account. Gordo's stunned, claiming that no one can do that. But then it dawns on him: the only person who knew how that account worked aside from him was Boobs, so she must still be alive. "We need to get her back," says Gordo with that tone in his voice that says, "Dead or alive isn't necessary; just dead will do."
We check back in with the Sloane trial, where the discussion has turned to OmniFam and how Sloane pretended he was doing good, but he was really forcing bad orchid water onto Third World countries. Or something. I'm still not sure what all that OmniFam shit was all about. Also? What is this, This is Your Life, Arvin Sloane? Guess the creators are attempting to bring new viewers up to speed, huh? Silly creators! Don't you know you don't HAVE any new viewers? By the way, Rifkin and Spinella are awesome in these scenes; they're just not really necessary to recap. Especially if you've been watching the previous four seasons. Basically, these proceedings are a formality; Sloane's going down and Spinella's gonna laugh while he burns.
Later, Jack is giving Sloane a pep talk. Too bad that Spy Daddy's version of a pep talk involves talking about federal penitentiaries and quick trials. Sloane thanks Jack for getting Sydney and Dixon to write statements on Sloane's behalf. Man, how'd Jack wrangle that? "Syd? Marcus? There's something I'd like you to do. But first, would anyone care for some weed? No? Crystal meth? Brain surgery? Whatever you need, it's yours." Sloane gives Jack power of attorney over Nadia. Not that it matters because she's NOT ON THE SHOW ANYMORE. Jack gives Sloane his word that he'll look after Nadia as if she were his own daughter. Not that she IS his own daughter or anything. What? Please. You know you're still thinking it. Admit it.