Episode Report Card Sara M: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Erinn Go Bragh
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 10 | Aired on 04.23.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.After Brendan's boot, Sierra figures she'll be the next to go unless she can convince her tribe to trust her again. Unfortunately, she goes about this by whining and crying a lot as opposed to presenting a good argument as to why a skinny little model no one seems to like might be better to take to the end than, say, Tyson. Tyson, Debbie, Erinn, and J.T. win a reward challenge trip to a Twokantees village for a food and martial arts dancing that puts Douche's warrior poses to shame, while Stephen is sent to Exile to find no new idols and Sierra doesn't manage to make any progress with Taj or Douche alone at camp. She'll have to win the immunity challenge, which is a game of Survivor shuffleboard with a slight twist -- anyone who thinks he's so safe that he doesn't need immunity can sit out the challenge and eat nasty-looking pizza. J.T., Stephen, and Douche choose this option, because Douche is a mighty warrior who aligns himself with mighty warriors, and sometimes mighty warriors step down from a battle because they want pizza, okay? Everyone else chooses to play, and just when it looks like Sierra might pull off the win, Debbie manages to take the win from her and get immunity. Tyson is so happy that Sierra will be going home tonight that he doesn't stop to consider the fact that he's got a huge target on his own back. Erinn, however, does. She goes to Taj and Stephen to see if they'd be interested in voting Tyson out tonight. They are. Stephen goes to J.T., but he isn't quite so thrilled about the idea. At Tribal Council, Tyson is just as much of a jerk to Sierra as he was all episode, so it's more than awesome to see the smug smile on his face disappear when the votes are read and he gets the majority of them.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Forza returns home under another gigantic moon. Tyson asks the group how "awesome" it was that Brendan just got voted out. "Awesome!" Erinn agrees, and I don't like her anymore. I don't care for people who rub things in, unless those people are masseuses and they're working on me. Sierra does not think it's so awesome, to which Tyson says she has to admit his alliance was "pretty badass." Sierra sadly says that since she's obviously the next person to go home, she'd appreciate it if the next three days could be "congenial." Her definition of congenial, we'll soon find out, is actually "pathetic." She interviews that everything is horrible and she's tired. Which is understandable, although I think Sierra is forgetting that she was just ready, willing, and able to make the members of Douche's alliance feel the same way. Annoyingly, she asks Douche if they can have a private conversation. He graciously agrees to this. Sierra interviews that "it was a very hard choice" to vote for Douche, and if she keeps saying things like that then I won't be sorry to see her go at the end of this episode one bit. Sierra tells Douche that she honestly didn't want to write his name down, and he says that all of her decisions in this game have been bad, and she "could have written down anybody else's name in this game that doesn't have the character like I have. Everybody out here has lied except for me." The first part of that quotation was true -- no one has the kind of character that Douche has, and it's a better world for it. The second part is, of course, false. Not counting all the lies Douche has told his fellow tribe members about who he was voting for, there was that one story about an Amazonian tribe of anus-eaters. Douche then interviews, of course, that Sierra was trying to rationalize and justify her vote for him, which is what people do when they make poor decisions. He guesses, since he's never made a poor decision himself. "In love and war, it's kill or be killed," Douche tells Sierra, who gets a perfect "right -- wait, what did he just say? That didn't make sense" look on her face. Douche tells Sierra that she "deserves" to go next, and I hope more than anything that she somehow wins immunity today.
After the credits, we get another montage of Douche's stupid made-up morning warrior pose ritual, this time from the vantage point of a helicopter. Yes, that's right. The crew got the helicopter out to take shots of Douche warrior posing. Just keep feeding that ego, guys. Douche interviews that during this particular meditation he was celebrating his victory over Brendan, because meditation is totally meant for gloating. He then admits that Brendan is younger and faster than him, although he can't quite admit that Brendan is stronger, since Douche claims that he can bench 300 pounds and when he told Brendan that, Brendan said, "really?" because Brendan obviously knew Douche was full of shit. The best part about all this is that Douche is saying that Brendan is physically stronger than he is and so proud to have outlasted him in this game while at the same time you know he also still somehow thinks that he stayed true to his original strategy to keep the strong players in and vote the weak players out. The second best part of this is imagining Douche bench pressing a barbell-shaped balloon with "150 pounds" written on either end while everyone else in the gym just stares at him. Douche is very happy to have defeated a "worthy opponent" such as Brendan, except that Brendan's physical strength meant absolutely nothing and it was his inability to play this game that did him in, therefore not making him much of a worthy opponent at all. I mean, I liked Brendan okay, but he blew a perfect alliance that I was really looking forward to seeing in action by forgetting to talk to them. Idiot. Douche talks about dragons again before letting out a stupid scream that we're supposed to think is hardcore and saying the battle has been won. But everybody knows that it doesn't matter who wins the battle -- it's all about who wins the war. And in love and war, it's kill or be killed into the seven layers of Samurai code. Chong ran.