Episode Report Card Potes: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Battle Of The Blands
By Potes | Season 7 | Episode 11 | Aired on 12.05.2006
For the next pass, the models have to stare each other down. Caridee goes out first and looks crazy. She has a little of the mean face going on. Melrose comes stomping toward her and the two face off. Melrose looks like a hunchback and/or Snoopy when he pretends he's a vulture. Fierce! And then, when Caridee and Melrose turn to go their separate ways after the face-off, this happens: Caridee steps on the train of Melrose's dress, and it rips. We hear an exaggerated ripping sound, which I'm sure was put in during post-production, but the point is well taken anyway. Melrose is piiiiiiiiissed. I think the designer should be the pissed one. There's a big-ass hole in the dress. Tyra thinks that whatever Melrose did was hot. Meanwhile, in a side plot that absolutely no one cares about, Miss J. runs off. When Melrose gets backstage, she is all atwitter and upset. She tells Jay that Cari ripped the fucking dress, and Jay tells hrt not to worry about it. Melrose is freaking out. Caridee is all like, "It was an accident, you ghostly bitch." She says that she's sorry, and Melrose is all, "Well snit snit snit sorry doesn't change anything snit." Jesus.
Anyway, it is now time for the models to go out and make their crazy scene. We hear a scream, and Miss J. is the first to run through the runway and act all crazy and screaming and ghostly and bridely. The audience -- or, the five people who they've paid to come and bear witness to this spectacle -- actually laughs. Melrose goes next, and screams and is crazy, and again, the audience is like, "WTF?" or whatever the Spanish equivalent is. More running and screaming. Caridee is next, and looks like a total idiot. Even Tyra and the judges laugh at her. Finally, it's time for the finale walk, which Dani(elle) leads. Tyra stands up and motions for Dani(elle) to put her hands on her hips. Awww, she's still a Model In Training. At the very end, Melrose and Caridee face each other and strike some weird poses and then...they disappear! Oh, if it were only for good and the recap could end here. Even a lowly recapper can dream, can't she?
And I mean, seriously, this might have been the dumbest thing ever.
Melrose tells us that she should be America's Next Top Model, because with all of the conditions and disastrous experiences, her performance rocked. Caridee says that she just wants to make it to the top, and prove it to everyone who doubted her. She hopes that she wins.
And then suddenly we are at judging! You know, Caridee is about a head and a half taller than Melrose. They are no longer dressed as ghost brides, thank goodness. Tyra actually looks decent, too. There are prizes: a contract with Elite, a cover and six-page spread in Seventeen, and a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl. There are also judges, and today they include Jay Manuel. That's fair. What's not fair is his blinding pink blazer. Put it away, queen.