Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Bad Catoptromance
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 10.19.2011
"Spencer, you're worse than my father," Alison laughed, so Spencer put away her Blackberry and pretended.
"Sorry. But I did just procure nine votes from the debate team." For Hanna's benefit, she explained that procure means "to obtain with special effort." Before she could explain "obtain," Alison snapped at her again. And that was the story that Spencer told.
"I think that Hanna should be who she wants to be," Spencer smiled, and Alison allowed it. "But you better wear the tightest skinny pants you can fit your big butt into," Alison said. This was another story Alison was already telling. They didn't see fit to stop that story yet.
Emily received a text from Ben, who wanted her to be a Sexy Cop for Halloween. She wanted to be an Indian Princess; she wanted to do whatever Ben wanted her to do. And that was the story that Emily told.
ALL THAT TESTOSTERONE
Noel Kahn and his friend drove up, and Alison told a story about Noel Kahn, fucking sheep. He laughed, because he understood her jokes, but he warned her that not everyone would understand her jokes. That someday, someone wouldn't take too kindly to her jokes. He was good at many things, but Noel Kahn didn't understand that Alison never told jokes. Only stories.
Noel Kahn smiled at Aria Montgomery, and invited them to his Halloween party. The girls were mad for it, because he was Noel Kahn. Four years later they'd be telling a different story; for now, they were thrilled. And Alison was thrilled, that they were thrilled, so she made fun of them. This is the world you can have, if you are mine, she was saying. That was another story she liked to tell.
"Come prepared to be scared," said Noel Kahn. He was part of Alison's story, but they didn't know that yet. "I'm happy we'll be together," Alison said, which was part of the story: Give them just enough to think she loved them. She wanted them weak, but she loved them too.
They wanted to get ready for Noel Kahn's Halloween party at Spencer's house, because she had the biggest bedroom. It was next door to Alison's house, but the bedroom was bigger. It had less secret spaces. It had less secrets, then. But they still had to ask her if it was all right, and she told them that it was.
313 MOCKINGBIRD
Going past a scary house, Emily spotted a person in the window. In Rosewood, Spencer explained, people went into that house all the time. Teenagers, as a rite of passage. Aria was no stranger to intuition, she's a Gryffindor after all, so she told her story plain, and this is the story she told: