Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Breaking the Furrow
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.25.2004
And a stink-twisted singer,Is worse than a queef.
Mr. Man updates us that they will reach Snake Eyes and their ever-Pledging Mega Maid in a few hours. Because he's Mr. The Lipfinity Is Half-Empty, Reed complains that they aren't well-armed, and asks how many snake nests are escorting Mega Maid. Mr. Man stares off into the distance and says, "I can't tell," as though he were trying to be psychic about it or something. Quantum reminds us that they are going to have to disable Mega Maid from the inside. You know, one would think that the reason to suffer through five minutes of previouslies is so one wouldn't have to wade through all this knee-deep exposition! Three-Toed is unable to read Degra's encrypted schematics on Mega Maid, so Quantum announces that they need Hoshi. "She's in no condition to come up here," Reed protests firmly with his arms crossed. "I wish I had a choice, Malcolm!" Quantum furr-bellows. "Sir, she's barely conscious," Reed insists. Quantum asks Three-Toed to "transport [Degra's schematics] to a PADD -- something portable." Three-Toed nods.
We zoom to Florida, where Rose is telling another one of her St. Olaf stories that make all Minnesotans look like freaks and babbling weirdoes. The other Golden Girls ignore her (as usual) and bitch that their favorable outcomes in the timeline are still diminishing even though Mega Maid is about to reach Earth. Dorothy reminds us that Enterprise is on its way to fool with a sphere, and that can't be allowed to happen. Especially since Stan's back in town and he stopped wearing his toupee.
Enterprise. Technobabble between T'Pol and Trip as they try to get ready to emit a special pulse to destroy Sphere 41. They're encountering difficulties. "Two hours, Mr. Tucker!" T'Pol orders. So, we're back to formalities again? Also, even before she CRACK WHORED out his nickname last week, wasn't she usually calling him "Commander Tucker"? Does her new position as acting captain compel the "Mister" out of her bee-stung mouth? Trip gets irritated that their orders were to attempt to pull the plug on the spheres, not to destroy Enterprise in the process. "Has it occurred to you what will happen if Cpt. Archer fails? If Earth is destroyed?" T'Pol CRACK PIPES. "Ev'ry day," Trip answers. "Good, then you've already come to the conclusion that without humanity, there's no one to combat these Golden Girls. Their Expanse will continue to grow, encompassing one system after another," T'Pol CRACK PIPES on. Trip makes a face like he hasn't actually considered that. Why am I not surprised? "Your world is no longer the only one in jeopardy," T'Pol finishes. Okay, I have some problems with that idea. First of all, the "without humanity" part? Is bullshit, as will be proven when Shran shows up and takes out the Xindi without even breaking a blue sweat. We also know that since the Vulcans, Andorians, Klingons and a bunch of other species they've run into in three years have been in space much longer, they have better ships and better weapons. How would this be only humanity's battle? Don't you think that once Earth was destroyed -- or hopefully before, but we're not seeing too many signs of that now, which is a rant I will get to later -- those OTHER species would scratch their antennae, cranial ridges, or what have you, and say, "Hmm, this doesn't look good for us"? Stop making the humans be the most important beings in all n dimensions! It's stupid and it doesn't make sense! T'Pol again gives Trip two hours and leaves.
Bridge. May-Rainy-Day-Woman-#35 is worried because with the sphere's cloaking barrier, they shouldn't be picking up anything on Sphere 41. However, they are picking up readings on something, and whatever's out there is getting bigger. He figures they could be anomalies, but they are clustered more tightly together than they've ever seen before.