Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lewis Carroll Never Imagined This
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 09.09.1999
...and then they're in the red dimension, wherein Chiana is delighted (oof, sorry) to discover that the light has no effect on her. D'Argo shows up with some goggles on his face, and declares that the light affects thinking and motor functions. Chiana has to pipe up again that it doesn't affect her, but with only two more weird dimensions to visit, I can't imagine that her gloating could possibly come back to bite her in the ass. Crichton fills D'Argo in on their situation, and D'Argo's never heard of anything like this happening before. Chiana, however, has -- her people's weapons scientists once poked a hole into another dimension, and it widened past the point they could control it, causing four populated planets to dissolve into tiny chunks. This would seem a lot more tragic if I hadn't been so recently introduced to Chiana's people. Now it just seems like the universe balancing itself out. Crichton tells them that they need to start the engines in each of Moya's incarnations, and he has the codes necessary to do that. Just then, though, the creature shows up, they shoot at it, and it goes away. Chiana breathes that they did it, and D'Argo growls, "It does not feel like a victory." Thanks for the input, Mr. Worf.
In Pilot's chamber, Crichton has just finished giving D'Argo the codes, and this just seems like it has the potential to devolve into a variation of Telephone, with somewhat less hilarious results than usual. D'Argo and Crichton argue over who's going to stay, and D'Argo points out that perhaps Chiana is the logical choice, particularly if they want to keep the floors clean. However, Chiana flatly refuses to stay alone, so D'Argo tells the two of them to get out of there. Crichton says to wait half an arn and then enter the sequence, and D'Argo snarks that he remembers from the first seven times Crichton told him. Also funny: Crichton making to retch again, and D'Argo yelling, "Not here!" Hee. There's a good amount of filler in this episode, but the dialogue is extremely crisp and amusing to make up for it, I have to say. Regardless of D'Argo's warning, Crichton does puke, and D'Argo's all, "Ooooo." Again, hee.
Crichton and Chiana are at the next vortex, and Chiana's all worried about what she should do if the creature's there. Crichton suggests she piss it off, and she asks how. Crichton: "Pretend it's me." Geez, and he was supposed to be the one that was going to be easy to get along with. Also, hee. He helps Chiana through and then hoists himself up...