Episode Report Card Sobell: A | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Tweener -- dead, yo!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.01.2006
Out in the Tooele garage, C-Note flexes, taking extra care to make sure the dim light gleams off his muscles so we can all admire their definition. Mission accomplished, my man. He hops back into the pit and resumes digging. As Linc digs, he grunts, "Since when did we become kidnappers? It ain't right!" Shouldn't Linc have raised this objection earlier? It seems like a lot of this could have been prevented if someone said, "Hey -- there's $5 million there. You ladies sit and watch us dig, we'll give you a million in hush money. Then we each take our $1.6 million and everything's cool. Otherwise... well, we can do this the hard way." Thinking this over logically, it seems like spending $1 million to avoid kidnapping charges could be a wise investment.
In any event, as the two-handed members of the team dig, Michael and Linc bicker over how things are shaking out. Michael gasps, "I'll take five years of a situation I can control over fifteen years of one I can't." Since this little sibling squabble isn't enough to shake the team apart, T-Bag does his part by holding up a copy of "National Anthropology" and asks, "Hey -- hundred dollar bill. What's it like, being of the African persuasion?" C-Note cordially invites T-Bag to shut the hell up. T-Bag mutters happily, "Oooh, hit me a nerve." He sure did. C-Note clambers over and inquires as to why T-Bag is not busy contributing to the hole. As the threats escalate, Linc has to pull the "Don't make me turn this car around!" voice so they can hear what Fox News has to say about the Fox River Eight: "The escaped convicts, whom we believe to be significant donors to the Democratic efforts to take back the House, still have not been apprehended." Or something along those lines. As the bubblehead anchor carries on with reassurances that other prisons are ensuring that boy geniuses cannot infiltrate their walls, then waltz out with a demographically diverse group of characters, the guys stop digging. T-Bag snaps, "It should be the Fox River Seven." Of all the assorted accuracy issues Fox News has, T-Bag has managed to fixate on the most innocuous. Linc uses the numbers quibble to query what's taken Tweener so long to fill a gas tank.
Speaking of Tweener... we're in the Tooele law enforcement complex, and Agent Sands has just come out of Tweener's interrogation room to tell Mahone, "I leaned on him in every way I can think of, and he's not talking." Mahone wordlessly heads into the room, then draws the shades. Oooh, such a renegade. He then asks Tweener, "Are you Catholic?" Tweener just glares at him. Mahone repeats himself, and Tweener looks away, because he can't come up with any decent Torquemada jokes right now. Mahone strolls over and sits down, continuing, "Not much good in it. The guilt. But the one good thing is confession. Whatever you've got eating at you, you just... give it up. Feels good, I have to say. Guess it's letting it out. Letting another human being hear --" Tweener interrupts Mahone's soothing musings by slamming his fist on the table and effectively informing Mahone that he doubts Mahone's qualified to dispense the sacrament of penance. Shrugging in the face of Tweener's informal catechism-check, Mahone switches to Plan B: "What if I told you something? A secret nobody else knows?" Tweener rolls his eyes.