Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Leave Your Cheese To Sour
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.10.2005
Lacey's phone rings; it's Logan, for Rory. She's forwarded her phone to Lacey's because of the many calls she's getting for the event. "I consider myself lucky to be patched through," Logan cracks. He tells her he got the PA system she wanted at the price she wanted. They are interrupted when Paris arrives. Rory says she looks upset. "That and a bulldozer would knock me over," Logan says. Paris is really upset, apparently. She gets snotty with Lacey and comes in telling Rory she's broke. "My parents flipped the bird at the IRS one too many times," she says. "They've frozen everything. All I've got is my trust fund, which doesn't kick in until I'm twenty-five." She's flipping out, and tells Rory about trying to get money from the bank, which did not go so well: "I used a few choice expletives, and a bunch of guys in suits started closing in on me, so I started pacing and yelling 'ATTICA! ATTICA!'" I love Paris. She goes on to say that she's a pauper, and will soon have to play a hurgy-gurdy on street corners, while selling pencils out of a tin cup. Yale is paid for, she says, but...what will she do, for everything else she needs? Rory says she'll have to do what every other person who needs money has to do: get a job. Paris freaks anew. She's never had a job. All her résumé shows is academic achievements, which will not get her far when vying for that coveted position in the garden department of Wal-Mart. Rory tells her to chill; she can give Paris a job right now: "I know you'll be a hard worker; that's a given." Paris says she definitely will be a hard worker, and by the way, she speaks Chinese and Farsi, if that will help. Rory says it's a job serving food at the event, and Paris is glad to accept. She tells the vendors that she'll work her butt off, and she even knows a touch of ancient Aramaic, if that will help out. "If Christ shows up," Ducky drones. Paris has had a long day, and makes her exit after hitting Rory up for $25.
Luke is cooking dinner for Lorelai and Paul Anka at Lorelai's house. Lorelai wants to know why he didn't use the store-bought sauce she already had. Luke says that stuff is junk. "It's delicious Italian sauce," Lorelai insists. "First off," Luke answers, "no it isn't." Plus, two of the jars she had, he couldn't even get open, and the other two were growing mold. "I make better," he says, "just like mama taught me." Lorelai says she knows he does, and reminds him that Paul Anka has to have his hamburger at rare-plus, not medium rare, because he doesn't like it overcooked. Now, I know I've said before how I love Paul Anka's many alleged quirks, but it just isn't right to show him only eating people-food. Dogs don't live like that, except in junkyards. Plus, isn't it kind of bad for them? Luke sees a flier on the fridge for Miss Patty's annual recital. Lorelai explains that all the kids in all the classes get to perform. "It's be there, or be square," she says. "Best show in town." Luke looks amused. He says that since it's on Thursday, he can get Cesar to close for him. Lorelai looks suspicious and asks why. Luke: "So I can go with you." She shakes her head, laughing, saying he's not going. He'll hate a night of kids singing and dancing, and anyway, he's been sacrificing too much of himself lately, as it is, going to Lorelai's movies and doing Lorelai's shopping. "And that dinner at Sookie and Jackson's," she adds. "How you kept from killing us all, I'll never know." Luke says he hasn't been complaining about any of it, and she says she knows, but that he's got to do his "Luke stuff," too. She says he should go camping or fishing or something while she goes to the recital with Sookie. "It'll be fun with her," she says. Aw. He looks a little crestfallen, but says sure, he'll go camping. She acts all proud like she's being sensitive to his needs, but then has to point out that Paul Anka's burger is officially medium rare. Luke makes him another one. So, what? The message here is "don't be so whipped, whipping boy"?