Episode Report Card Kim: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Graduate
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.23.2002
Mr. Porter gets into the elevator. Richard runs in just as the doors are closing, holding flowers and a balloon that are clearly for Ben, the new dad. Oh, no. Richard recognizes Felicity's dad somehow and congratulates him, saying, "You must be psyched about Ben's new kid." Mr. Porter just looks at him in disbelief as Richard babbles on, trying to figure out how Mr. Porter would be related to Ben's son. Mr. Porter is still silent. Richard expresses that maybe Mr. Porter is glad that the baby will be in Arizona with its mom, and far away from Felicity. They reach the correct floor and Mr. Porter walks out. Richard lies that he forgot something downstairs and urges Mr. Porter to go in alone, and then says that their conversation never happened. Richard hands Mr. Porter the gift and ducks back into the elevator. Mr. Porter says, "Who are you?" Richard responds, "Exactly." As the elevator doors close, Ben walks out of the apartment and Richard ducks so that Ben won't see him. What in the hell is up with Richard's hair, by the way? Not a good look for him.
Ben sees Mr. Porter and calls out a greeting. Mr. Porter hands him Richard's gift. Ben tries to hide the balloon once he realizes what it's about, and Mr. Porter asks if he wants to tell him what's going on. Ben says, "No, not really, sir." Heh. Mr. Porter starts bitching about the engagement and that Ben had a child with another woman. Ben confirms that it's true. Mr. Porter is sure that Ben has an explanation for everything, but he's only concerned whether or not Felicity knows. How could she not know? If enough people know that they are bringing over gifts, word has clearly spread. Ben says that Felicity knows and has been very understanding. Mr. Porter doesn't think that Felicity knows what she's getting herself into. Ben raises his voice as he says that Mr. Porter is probably underestimating his daughter. Mr. Porter orders Ben not to make this into a "parents don't understand" thing. Wouldn't he need the Fresh Prince for that? Mr. Porter thinks that marriage at their age is ridiculous. Oh, cram it. They're engaged, not married. Maybe they'll be engaged for a few years. Maybe they'll get married tomorrow. Either way, unless they're asking him to pay for the wedding, it's none of his business. Ben points out that Mrs. Porter was their age when the Porters got married. Mr. Porter adds, "And she and I are divorced now." Yeah, because she married an ass-face. Mr. Porter says that Ben has a child in Arizona and lives in New York, and he wonders how that's going to work. Ben admits that they're thinking of moving to Arizona. Oh, no. Bad move. Mr. Porter says that he's talking to Ben as a father, and fathers are very protective of their children, and if someone tries to hurt their child, a father will want to hurt that person back. Ben says that he understands. Mr. Ass-face Porter says, "I hope so" and slimes away. I hate him.