Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dog Dead Afternoon
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 05.11.2002
Formaldehyde Fortress. David is vacuuming, and viewers across America (myself excepted) groan in dismay when he fails to break into song. Come to think of it, have we really had that many musical numbers this year? The only one I can remember off the top of my head is Nate's rock video, but I do tend to block those things out pretty quickly. Anyway, instead of a song and dance routine, we get Mitzi Dalton-Huntley, who's breezed on in to taunt the boys about the lawsuit they're dealing with. Barbs are exchanged, and then Nate wonders aloud if Mitzi really likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror at night. Ooh, good one, Nate. Why not just say her mother wears combat boots? Mitzi departs, but not before scoring a marginally better comeback with, "It's a crying shame that someone as cute as you has to be such a goddamn doom-and-gloomer."
Later, David and Nate beg Mommy for the money to pay off the suit, but Ruth can't help them. "The only time you two tell me what's going on in your lives is when you need money," she says. "If you had told me about this before, the money would have been there. Now it's gone. And the Russian mafia will be stopping by later on to pick up whatever might be left." The brothers are appalled by this news, with David pointing out that without her money, they're "seriously screwed." Meanwhile, Peter Krause does such a good job of portraying "seriously screwed" that he actually looks like he's got a five-hundred-pound man standing on his testicles. Behind them, we hear the door open, and Claire and DangerSlut walk in. They're clearly already tripping, and can barely manage a quick giggle before running upstairs. After a beat, Nate sighs, "I give up," and walks out of the room.
Woo hoo! We've finally made it to my favorite scene of the week. Not even a super-sexy rabbi can eclipse my love for a happy Lauren Ambrose. She and Parker run upstairs to Claire's room, then collapse on the bed, wondering what they should do with their time. As they consider the options, we get a nice little moment where they lean in towards each other, as if preparing to kiss. Sadly, you can't fuck for shit on 'shrooms, so they decide to sew something instead. Well, that sucks. But a boy can always dream, and you can be assured that I probably will. As Claire pulls a bin of fabric, or yarn, or whatever it is the domestically inclined use to make clothing, out from under her bed, she and DangerSlut reminisce about what life must have been like in the olden days. "People used to have make their own soap. Can you believe that?" asks Claire. "People used to have to, like, kill their own cows and stuff," answers Parker. "I really wish I could have been alive back then," says Claire, apparently forgetting that AOL was not one of the original thirteen colonies.
Downstairs, Nate tries to call Brenda, but gets her answering machine. He hangs up without leaving a message.