Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unacceptable Losses
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 01.27.2000
Oh, great, Crichton's making a goodbye tape to his dad! And without an act break in between for me to go rehydrate! Crichton aborts the effort quickly, though, and then Aeryn appears and asks if his dad is anything like the man she met (in "A Human Reaction"). Crichton says the alien representation of his dad was "a little idealized," but mostly accurate. They look adoringly into each other's eyes as Aeryn tells him he's lucky -- when she was very young, her "battle-hardened, scarred" soldier of a mother told Aeryn that she was born out of love, but it seems like that's about all she ever told her. She goes on that she knows even less about her father, so Crichton slides his tape recorder toward her and tells her to leave him a message. "You never know. He might get it." They beam at each other to end the scene, and I don't care what weird part of the galaxy they're in, but them failing to kiss defies all known laws of both physics and chemistry.
On the Command Carrier, Rygel is soaking in a hot bath when he sees the stuffed Hynerian trophies and gets a little freaked. Crais then enters, and somewhat menacingly tells Rygel they need to decide his future. Rygel, too offhandedly, says that Scorpius is obviously the one in charge there, and I think Crais has proven himself predictably irascible enough that you won't be surprised to learn that he grabs Rygel's head and holds it underwater for several seconds. However, the twist is that he produces a data card, on which he claims is proof that Scorpius (whom he refers to as a "Scarran half-breed") intends to double-cross Rygel and order his slow execution as soon as Crichton is in custody. Rygel considers this, and asks why Crais is telling him. Crais confesses that the only path in his future as far as the Peacekeepers are concerned is "court-martial, incarceration, execution." He tells Rygel that he wants to survive, just as Rygel does. Rygel: "And just how do we do that?"
Sometime later on Moya, the crew has learned that Rygel is returning, and discuss how much that stinks. I mean that in the sense that they deem the situation fishy, although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Chiana and Pilot both report that there's no sign of Peacekeeper activity; nonetheless, Aeryn, D'Argo, Crichton, and even Zhaan bring weapons to bear on the hangar door. It opens, and Rygel imperiously Thronesleds in. Aeryn orders him to get off it and lie face down on the ground, but he easily refuses, saying he doesn't want to miss their response to what's about to happen. "And please, whatever your reaction, please don't let it include weapons fire." Hmm. Do extra-large loogies count as weapons? Anyway, Rygel's speech is all the introduction Crais needs, and the man appears at Rygel's side. Everyone's speechless except Crichton, who starts laughing. Crais: "Clearly an awkward situation." Apparently it's never too late to develop a capacity for understatement. Crais goes on that he's asked Rygel for asylum, and Rygel has granted his request. Aeryn asks why he needs asylum, but Crais says he'd prefer to answer any questions in protective custody. Aeryn has Pilot have the DRDs check the transport pod for tracking devices, and Pilot asks Chiana to reinstate the cell door functions on one of the tiers. Aeryn and Zhaan inspect Crais for weapons, and then D'Argo, the only one who hasn't spoken, goes from "simmer" to "boil" as he hits and kicks Crais to the floor, and demands that Crais tell his shipmates the truth. Crais admits that D'Argo didn't commit the crime for which he was imprisoned. "His mate was killed by someone else." Aeryn contemptuously adds that it was the wife's own brother, a Peacekeeper. In response to Crichton's disbelief that Crais knew the truth and yet kept D'Argo incarcerated, Crais says that regardless of his knowledge, only a tribunal order can release a convicted murderer. He adds that life is unfair, and they're all proof of that. Ooh, good idea -- appealing to their shared status as outcasts in an attempt to build a bond! Crichton: "If life was fair, you'd be dead." Um. Well, you can use the commercial break to go back to the drawing board.