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By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.11.2003
Lucy studies at an outdoor cafe, on the Promenade, I bet. Some girlie waves at her -- Christine. She looks a bit like Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls-era. She approaches the table and is all, hey! You're studying theology, right? You want to be a minister, right? And Lucy is all, it's Christine, right? Anyway, Christine needs a place to stay, since her apartment building has "lots and lots of dogs," and it was infested with fleas. Lots and lots of fleas. So she needs somewhere to stay for forty-eight hours. And she doesn't have a dog, she just walks everyone else's to help pay her way through school. Jesus, with the exposition this episode. Like, are we going to have a test on this at the end? Is everyone going to SevHev Trivia at the bar tomorrow? Because all this useless detail is just going to fuck us up. Lucy thinks it's "interesting" that Xtina is a dog walker, and offers her a place to stay. Xtina is all, "But you don't even know me! That is so nice of you! I accept!" But Lucy didn't even ask her mom or dad or husband! Or, you know, know this person before inviting her into her home! Oh, boy. I'm crossing my fingers for a multiple homicide. That would be a hell of a season finale.
CamPound. Ruthie starts talking shit about Peter's mom. "Why does she have to work all the time?" Because shit costs money, you little brat. Annie answers her a little less brutally than I: "Because she's a single mom with no support from Peter's dad. And she gets dignity and self-worth from her work, and contributes to the community of business." The "community of business"? What pomposity of ass. Ruthie, sounding totally pissed, screeches at her mother, "OKAY, OKAY, I WAS JUST THINKING OUT LOUD!" I wonder what Jesus' official stance on smacks in the mouth is. I'm sure he'd want Ruthie to turn the other cheek, too. Annie asks if Ruthie is okay. Ruthie, on a roll with ketchup and pickles, takes it and lobs it back. "YES. Are YOU okay?" Annie says she was, but now she's "feeling...annoyed." Ruthie can't take a hint: "BY?" Annie says, "By you." ["Girl, get in line." -- Sars] Ruthie, in full-fledged hissyfit mode, says beseechingly that she didn't mean anything, and why is she always being accused of being in a bad mood? She thinks Annie is in a bad mood! Stomp stomp stomp. Then we get a totally creepy and abrupt close-up of one of the twins, who says he thinks Annie is in a good mood. The other one says, "A vewy good mood." She says briskly, "Thank you." Wow, I think Ruthie just got her first period.
Chandler says hysterically, "You've got to stop him!" Roxanne and Kevin look at him blankly and say they don't know where else to look, and everything's going to be fine. Chandler, still hysterical, says that everything is not going to be fine, and don't they know any police officers in New York? Yes -- isn't there like, a union for cops? An order? Maybe a fraternal order? Or, um, a radio they can all talk to each other on? Hey, can you Google "NYC COPS" for him? Chandler screeches, "STOP IT!" Kevin says that he made the right decision and that he's just "panicking." Chandler harrumphs, still in hissyfit mode. Hey, I think Chandler just got his first period.