Episode Report Card Manimal: B | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Spirit
By Manimal | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.15.2001
Kenya. I don't know what location they used for the exterior shots, but it is unbelievably gorgeous. Emerald-green water, a strip of golden beach, flora-covered cliffs, and hardly any waves. If you need to be an international criminal to get access to places like this, sign me up, now. I'm really good at not paying parking tickets. Sydney, sporting a blonde wig, a black-and-white straw hat, and a sleeveless beige linen dress, walks up to the check-in counter. She's also sporting huge pink sunglasses. And black sling-backs. Who the hell wears black sling-backs with beige linen? That is so nouveau riche. The desk clerk welcomes her to "Samba Island." I am officially confused about the name of this place.
Cue pointless flashback. Marshall tells Sydney that the resort she's going to is super-swank, and that's why he made her wear the abovementioned huge pink sunglasses, since not only do they have telephoto lenses and take silent photos, but they're also super-swank. "Swank" is one of my favorite words. ["It's also fun to call stuff 'Hilary Swank,' like, 'Ooh, this room at the Plaza is Hilary Swank.'"-- Sars]
Kenya. Sydney and her rose-colored glasses troll along the poolside. She spots Driscoll and telephotos him for a few shots. Fake Curtis Mayfield plays. She turns to leave, and bumps into a guy that looks like a thinner Saddam Hussein. They apologize to each other. Right afterward, the desk clerk walks up and tells her that her suite is ready and to enjoy her stay. Sydney says, "I'll try," under her breath.
Exterior shot of swank island resort. This was total real-estate and vacation porn for me. I'm sad to admit that I rewound these three seconds of footage, like, a million times because it was so gorgeous. The building is white, the bodies are tan, the pool is aquamarine, the sea is cobalt, the sky is perfectly dotted with fat, puffy clouds and is a more brilliant, sky-like shade of blue than anywhere else on earth, and I am about to burst into tears.
Oh, right, recap. Cut to Sydney in her blonde wig and a cute black bikini, lounging poolside. Her body is fabulous, but the bra of this bathing suit is massively padded. Trust me, a woman knows. Sorry, kids. It's also such an effective push-up bra that I think Sydney might be able to rest her chin on her boobs.
Sydney saunters over to Driscoll and apologizes about the music in her suite, since she plays it too loudly when she drinks too much. Her accent is bizarre -- equal parts sugar magnolia and Berkeley Square. Driscoll is all but doing that cartoon thing where his tongue hits the floor and his eyes pop out. He's confused. She feigns shock that he's not the man in the suite next to her. He says he wishes he were. He tells her she has an open invitation to his suite anytime. He also tells her the number: 350. Sydney says she'll see him around, and sashays off with a little smile. Very Scarlett O'Hara.