Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT "You Fart Helium?"
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.18.1999
Before I get started, I just want to say that I'm really impressed that the Farscape fans managed to get together over a thousand bucks for this charity recap, and I'm very flattered you all picked me to do it, especially given that I've never seen the show. I do, however, at least have some experience with recapping series premieres. In any case, if I don't understand everything about the show, don't send Ben Browder to kill me, please! Of course, if you want to send him on some other errand, I don't know who I am to stop you.Also, did they call this first episode of the series "Premiere" because they were afraid that "Pilot" would be too confusing, with Crichton being a pilot and all? Or was it because of the alien called "Pilot"? Or do they just like Premiere magazine? These are the things I think about, people. At least your money's going to a good cause.
Okay. Fade up on the beautiful setting sun, right across the river from what's presumably Cape Canaveral, if the space shuttle in the distance is any indication. The camera pans left to show a man watching the facility. A shot of his face reveals him to be the aforementioned Ben Browder, and the sun's got very little on him. And that's the beauty shot that begins Farscape. I guess I'm going to have to go update my wish list now.
We see a headline of some journal turned to an article that reads "Childhood Friends out to prove a Theory" ([sic] on the capitalization), with a picture of Browder's character, John Crichton (even I knew this one going in) standing in front of an equation-filled whiteboard, with his friend next to him massaging a model of the space shuttle. Someone off-screen says that launch conditions are optimal, and since Crichton is suiting up, I'd have to agree. The off-screen voice belongs to the aforementioned friend, who babbles about the experiment they're undertaking, which entails trying to use the Earth's gravitational force to exponentially increase the speed of a manned aircraft. Considering the friend manages to touch Crichton about seventeen times during this explanation, I'd say this isn't the first experiment he's been a part of. The friend notes that Crichton seems unenthused, and asks what's wrong. Crichton tells the friend, "D.K.," that he feels like a big change is imminent in his life. D.K. looks concerned, but can't dwell on it, as a well-preserved older man with silver hair joins them. Silver Hair: "You're looking pretty sharp there, Commander Crichton." Obviously Silver Hair's prime physical condition extends to his eyes. Crichton thanks the man, who just happens to be his father, and then is all, "Let's do this thing." Thousands of viewers rush down to City Hall to officially change their names to "This Thing." Everyone files out.