Episode Report Card Dan Kawa: B | 4 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Sucked In
By Dan Kawa | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.21.2004
Meanwhile, Hurley suggests they might want to do something about all the -- and here he looks nervously at Mercutio's son -- "B, O, D, Y, S." "What are you spelling, man, 'bodies'?" asks Mercutio, and the kid corrects Hurley's spelling. This is a nice bit.
Charlie, Jack, and Kate head up an extremely pretty Hawai'ian valley. Jack has a walking stick. Why does he feel the need to have a walking stick? There are only four plausible reasons to carry a walking stick, two of which enjoy a 100% correlation with jerkitude:
1. Because you are employing the walking stick ironically. If this is the case, you are a jerk.
2. Because you want to appear rugged and outdoorsy. If this is the case, you are a jerk.
3. Because of distinct quirkiness. This may or may not signify jerkitude; in the case of my friend Catherine's husband Carl and his rosewood walking stick with a compass in the head, for instance, it did not. Carl purchased the walking stick because he was nervous about moving to Washington, DC, and thought that carrying around a walking stick might be an effective crime deterrent. Carl also has about him something of the air of a Victorian dandy. He eventually lost the walking stick when he left it leaned up against a hot dog stand on the campus of the George Washington University School of Law.
4. Because you need a walking stick to walk, due to polio or a wound.
I believe Jack's reason for carrying a walking stick -- or rather, the prop department's reason for outfitting Jack with one -- is 40% #1 and 60% #4. He is wounded, but not on the leg. Let's say the members of the Lost prop department think Jack is about 40% jerk. I agree.
Kate asks Charlie if she's met him before, and Charlie claims to be the bassist for the phallically-named band Driveshaft. He sings a few bars from Driveshaft's #4 smash "Pumping Piston In Your Engine of Love." As proof of his membership in the band, Charlie shows Kate a ring, apparently a memento of the band's "second tour of Finland." And now he must toss the ring into the fires of etc., etc. Jack interrupts this fun conversation to tell them to hurry up. Okay, 45%. Also, many people thought they were trudging through a cornfield, which seems pretty unlikely to me. However, please note that I mentioned it, so I still get credit if it turns out it is corn. That damn dog is watching them. Clues were given that Mercutio and his son had a dog on the plane, but man, I don't think this is it. This is one spooky dog. Or rather, it's a normal-looking dog, but whenever it appears on screen, spooky music plays on the soundtrack, and I get all freaked out. While rewatching the show for this recap, I turned down the sound whenever the dog appeared and whistled the theme to The Andy Griffith Show, and everything seemed a lot less ominous. I recommend this method for calming down during other stressful moments in life, like a performance review or your own death from cancer.