Episode Report Card Sars: D | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Home Movies
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.19.1999
Morning in Capeside, accompanied by a Lilithite wondering about "that faraway look in your eyes." Joey lugs a crate through the dock shop and rounds a corner to find Dawson standing on the dock outside, clad in his customary XXXL sportswear (borrowed, as MCA pointed out, from Fame's Mr. Shorofsky), and the same fugly white socks and brown booties from previous episodes. Joey makes a sarcastic remark about "Bimbo Cove," presumably in reference to Eve, who thankfully has not appeared in this episode. After more weird Eve-related repartee, Dawson says he needs advice, and Joey smiles ruefully, saying, "What else are dumped ex-girlfriends for?" Um, Joey? Not that you didn't do the right thing, but you dumped him, okay? Anyway, Dawson wants to know what he should do -- finish the story, or forget it in order to mollify The Flash. Joey wonders aloud if perhaps "a nationally televised broadcast kind of overshadow[s] a football rivalry," and while Dawson agrees, he also recognizes that The Flash hasn't had the easiest time of it over the last couple of years; his restaurant dream failed, "his wife stepped out on him with the Capeside equivalent of Ted Knight," and as a substitute teacher he kind of stinks. I have to admit that that Ted Knight line gave me a smile. Joey says it sounds like a self-respect issue for The Flash; Dawson agrees and asks, "What d'you think?" Joey prattles on about father-son conflict and "the stuff of Greek drama," and Dawson asks if she means "tragedy or comedy," and I don't remember anything in Aristophanes about Dawson's Little-Dutch-Backstreet-Boy hairstyle, but I'd have to come down firmly on the side of "tragedy." Joey intones wisely, "Sometimes we fight our fathers, and they respect us. And -- sometimes we fight them, and -- and we lose them forever." More non-sage non-advice in this vein follows -- "decide how you want to live your life" blah blah blah "if I do it, it'll kill him" blah blah blah "according to Freud" blah blah blah Oedipal-conflictcakes -- and none of it explains why this so-called Dawson-Flash conflict constitutes anything close to a big deal. Dawson hands Joey a videotape he dubbed for her, says a few cheesy things about it, and takes off. Joey sighs.
Ryan Home. A blurry group of girls comes into focus, debating whether Jen has "dried saliva" or "the zipper mark from the pillow" on her face, as Jen slowly wakes up to find her bed surrounded by cheerleaders -- including Grams, who makes her customary "rise and shine" noises and says that the cheerleaders "have an urgent matter to discuss with" Jen. Jen, from the depths of her pink bedding and Lanz-of-Salzburg jammies, repeats sleepily that she has quit, and says that unless one of the cheerleaders has a large cup of coffee hidden under her pompoms, they'd better leave. A crimp-haired cheerleader says that they respect her decision, and another girl has risen to "the leadership challenge," an announcement Jen greets with a blasé thumbs-up. Heh. But Crimpy goes on to say that they want her to reconsider the kiss issue, and Grams puts in that a mystery bidder has plunked down five hundred dollars just for the privilege of kissing Jen, and a redheaded cheerleader adds, "But they've specifically stipulated that the kiss must come from you." "Stipulated"? Jen struggles up in bed and says, "I don't care if they bid the kingdom of Brunei. I'm not for sale." Oh, I see -- but you'll give it away for free to guys like Chris "Teen" Wolfe? Whatever, Jen. The cheerleaders and Grams guilt-trip Jen into agreeing to the kiss by mentioning that the proceeds of the kiss auction go to widows and orphans; no kiss, no money for the widows and orphans. Jen groans and pulls the covers over her head, much as I felt like doing for much of this episode.