Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let's Get It Awwwwn
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.01.2003
Oops Center. Some operator tells Vaughn that he has an urgent call. He picks up and puts it on speakerphone, asking who's on the other end. It's Good Ethan. Or Bad Ethan. Or -- oh, hell, we already know it's Bad Ethan. Let's just stick with that. Bad Ethan's all, I'm Good Ethan! That guy you captured was Marcovic! He's a mad scientist!
We get a shot of Bad Ethan speeding along in his jeep in the dark, yammering into a phone. Vaughn's all, yeah, we know all that, dude. What's YOUR problem? Bad Ethan's all, my problem is, I'm the REAL Ethan and I just escaped twelve hours ago! Vaughn's all, right, whatever -- where are you now? Bad Ethan's all, I'm in Poland, dude! I'll save you a kielbasa! I'm heading for the freight yard and I'm gonna destroy the prototype! Agent Sean tracks him on his monitor as being two miles away from Syd and Good Ethan. Jack hits the mute and speculates that the dude on the other end of the phone could indeed be Bad Ethan, which of course we all know he is.
Vaughn takes him off mute and is all, dude, I'd like to believe you, but we did that whole ocular scan thing and Good Ethan is actually Good Ethan so, like, you're shit outta luck, my friend. Bad Ethan's all, that ocular scan thing doesn't work! It's a joke! Jack's all, ha ha, very funny, motherfucker. Do NOT approach the freight yard or I will KICK your cloned ass! Bad Ethan's all, what? What was that? You're breaking up! I'm going under a bridge! There must be a television tower nearby! What? Then he's gone.
Meanwhile, over in the freight yard, we see Bad Ethan's jeep approaching. He stops, readies his gun, and jumps out, leaving his lights on. That's gotta be bad for the battery, dude. Back in Oops Center, Vaughn instructs someone to put him through to his girlfriend on a separate channel so only she can hear him. Ooh, romantic. He gets through to her and, after instructing her to not react, tells her she looks hot in that skullcap and he can't wait to rip it off her, along with everything else she's wearing. Or maybe he tells her that Good Ethan may not be Good Ethan after all.
Syd clears her throat to let Vaughn know she understands what he's told her, and gets up. Good Ethan's suddenly right at her side, attempting to look moderately sinister. "Backup copy," he says, holding up a disc. Syd looks at him funny, because she's physically unable to hide ANYTHING on her face, and he moves back to the computer. Jack gets on the horn and tells her that, since there's no way to verify if the dude who just called in is Good or Bad Ethan, she should disarm the guy she's with and take cover so she can nab the other dude when he shows up.
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