Episode Report Card Djb: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Large And In Sarge
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.07.2004
Ruth "I Want A" and George "Divorce" Sibley sit in the kitchen as I realize that the only problem with their ending their marriage would be that it meant Ruth was a Fisher cum Sibley cum Fisher. Ruth insists, "George, come to church with me." George, flipping through the "Animal Husbandry" section of a newspaper (because that is, in fact, what he is...he is an animal husband) responds, "Agnostics don't usually go to church, Ruth. That's part of the appeal." Well, it's an interesting interpretation of the scriptures to claim that the reason people don't believe in a higher power is so they can sleep a little later on Sundays, but I say you stay out of my yard and I won't leave a box of poo in yours. Like the old expression goes. Ruth tells him how happy she would be if he would go with her, with which George puts down his newspaper and takes her hand, cooing (I know. I didn't know he was a coo-er either), "Sweetheart, this is my day to catch up. I've got a million things to do." It's been quite an inordinate number of months, for example, since he's married anyone new.
David "What's Gay And Yellow And Goes 'Crack' In The Night? You!" Fisher enters the kitchen just then. He bids them all a "good morning" that's straining so hard to sound jolly that he practically sings it to the tune of the opening number of Showboat. Ruth asks him in rapid succession, "Can I get you anything? How are you?" causing David to answer in rapid succession, "Orange juice! I'm great! Well, my stomach is burning." Well, then, orange juice for everyone, because there's nothing for heartburn cum a heart attack better than a big glass of acid. He should be consuming base elements instead, like milk and slaked lime and Ace of Base. He should be strong enough for a man but PH-balanced for a woman. Ruth agrees with me, giving him water instead, as David unbuttons his jacket because he's totally having a heart attack and notes, "No bodies in the prep room. Do you think death spared Los Angeles last night?" Maybe L.A. installed a few more ATMs and death didn't have any other choice. Ruth asks what he's doing there, then, and he foreshadows that he should be around in case they "get a walk-in," which makes all of the linguistic sense of a hooker showing up early to her job on the street corner "in case we get a eunuch." Because the dead, not so much with the walking. David asks his mom and his stepdad (it's fun to call him that sometimes and I recommend you try it) what they're up to, and George snarks, "I have to work. And your mother's got the spirit." The writing: a funny line. The character: she didn't mock you for your agnosticism; you don't have to mock her for believing in a big man with a white beard who lives in the sky. Ruth asks David if he'd like to attend church with her, and David grabs his heart-attack arm and smiles broadly, answering, "Yes, I'd like that! Very much!" Ruth hands him his water and tells him she'll be "ready in a minute," leaning down to George (though not very far, because they're the same height when he's sitting) and informing him, "Last chance." Right back at her, George sarcastically requests, "Pray for me?" Which would be a lot funnier if he and Ruth didn't already actually hate each other so much.
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