Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tea and Treachery
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.25.2001
There is the donning of white sewer-suits and helmets. Paul is going. Karyn. Emily. Frank. Davey. Joe. Brennan. As Karyn works her way through the tunnel, Lenny walks along the street toward the place where he will meet up with her, and he notes that he has "one-hundred-fifty-percent faith" in Karyn. That's about one hundred fifty times the faith Karyn has in him, unfortunately.
In a moment I particularly love, a nervous Nancy carries her bag and Emily's toward the destination. "Emily is in the sewer, underneath Paris," she says with a grin of sheepish good cheer. She clearly can't decide whether it's completely terrifying or totally cool that her kid is walking in a Paris sewer. Meanwhile, the Guidos are having suiting-up difficulties. Maybe this is why they usually wear matching outfits -- they can work together on the challenges presented by the process of getting dressed. Lots of shots of various people walking in the sewer with flashlights. Rats are seen. We learn that "steaming raw sewage" is not just a colorful expression.
Paul retrieves the clue at the end first. Over in the forums, there was some question as to whether a rat was on Paul as he did so, but I am happy to report that it's just a shadow. Creepy enough for me nonetheless. People emerge from the sewer, including, unfortunately, Loud Pushy Frank.
New status report? Kevin and Drew are in front, with the Fast Forward pass. Next are Paul and Amie and Lenny and Karyn. In the middle, we have Emily and Nancy, Frank and Margarita, and Rob and Brennan. Trailing are Bill and Joe, Dave and Margaretta, and Pat and Brenda.
We get a very sad shot of Pat and Brenda approaching the sewer and noticing that everyone else has clearly already been there. Ouch! They laugh, so as not to cry.
Bill and Joe are on the subway. Joe: "It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years." Okay, first of all, it's not your "luck." Your "luck" has been fine. Your overconfidence is the problem. Second of all, if you mention your previous time spent in Paris one more time, I'm going to crawl through my TV, come find you, and put snags in all your most expensive sweaters. Bill assures Joe that they won't lose.
At the Gare de Lyon train station, folks board the train on their way to the Chateau. Paul and Amie share a well-deserved moment of excitement with Lenny and Karyn about being at the front of the pack. (No kidding! What's not to love about worst-to-first?) Meanwhile, Frank and Margarita have an extremely stupid argument in which he repeatedly yells "Relax!" in a most unrelaxing manner, and she repeatedly says, "Don't yell at me." This is at least a glimmer of hope for Margarita's backbone. The two of them spot an approaching Rob and Brennan. When Esquire sees Danza, they decide to go over and share the info they have about the train. Danza responds in a chilly manner that they already know everything. If you ask me, Esquire should have dropped LPFrank right at this point. Alliance, schmalliance.
Joe and Bill rush through the train station, while Bill voices over that "in Paris, [they] might have been a little overconfident," and then he mentions a certain historical fact about himself and Joe that I am not, for the sake of their sweater collections, going to acknowledge having heard. Bill thinks they were complacent. Hmm, you think? When the Guidos come across the Paul/Amie, Lenny/Karyn, Nancy/Emily group, they start to lend a hand, on the theory that helping teams they perceive as weak improves their chances of knocking out a strong team. "We're going to help you guys, you remember this," Joe calls out in an insufferably self-important tone. What they actually do, however, is lead the so-called "Underdogs" to the wrong train, then turn tail and abandon them. What the hell was the point of that? First of all, it's fucking rude. I know, I know -- you don't have to be polite during a race. Nevertheless, you also do not have to choose to be a total raving asshole, and specifically seeking people out and offering help to them, only to screw them utterly…that's just tacky. Bad form, gents. You can choose to play that way, but I don't have to like you for it. The Underdogs make it onto the right train okay, but they're now firmly in the anti-Guido camp. It appears that all Team Guido accomplished there was building up the reservoir of ill will against them.