|
2-23 2006.05.21 |
Remember Mike buys an engagement ring for Susan, Tom's one-night-stand from before Lynette is moving to town with his kid, Zana kills Noah, a SWAT team kills Matthew, MacOrson mows down Mike with his car, and Carlos has sex with Money. |
| 2-23 Recap |
Remember
Remember - Mike buys an engagement ring for Susan, Tom's one-night-stand from before Lynette is moving to town with his kid, Zana kills Noah, a SWAT team kills Matthew, MacOrson mows down Mike with his car, and Carlos has sex with Money. |
2006.05.21 2006.05.27 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-22 Recap |
No One Is Alone
No One Is Alone - Stalker Lynette spies Tom sipping wine with a pretty brunette and moves out; Danielle and Matthew run away together; Bree has a manic frosting meltdown, and then checks herself into a mental facility; Edie -- full of bee venom and bitterness -- puffs up to one thousand times her size; and knocked-up Money sets her sexy sights on Carlos. |
2006.05.14 2006.05.20 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-21 Recap |
I Know Things Now
I Know Things Now - Bree abandons Andrew at the edge of some forest after he seduces Hempy; Betty locks Matthew in the basement when she discovers that he's the bad apple, not Caleb; Xiao Mei the Money gets a little lost in the translation of "surrogate" and strips down naked for Carlos; Tom is beginning to look a lot like a cheater; and Edie burns Susan's house right down to the ground. |
2006.05.07 2006.05.13 |
A |
Evany |
| 2-20 Recap |
It Wasn't Meant To Happen
It Wasn't Meant To Happen - Karl dumps Edie, Susan desperately tries to deflect suspicion that she's the reason for Karl's departure, Lynette has cyber-sex with Ed's wife on Ed's behalf, Danielle and Matthew set up Caleb with hopes of keeping the Applewrongs in Fairview, Bree takes over as Hempy's SA sponsor, and Gabby and Carlos lose Lily when stripper bio-mom decides to keep the baby. |
2006.04.30 2006.05.06 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-19 Recap |
Don't Look At Me
Don't Look At Me - A sleep-deprived Gabby throws Money at her new baby, Bree teams up with Justin to keep Andrew for moving away to live with his grandparents, Susan meets a dentist and sleeps with Karl, again, and Lynette distracts a vagina-obsessed Parker with a new puppy. |
2006.04.16 2006.04.22 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-18 Recap |
Everybody Says Don't
Everybody Says Don't - Lynette gets a whiff of Andrew's evil and states for the record that Bree's a good mother; the Gablos runs off with Libby's perhaps un-adoptable baby; Karl proposes to Edie; Dr. Ron tells Edie that Karl and Susan are married, and Edie punishes Susan by making her tend bar at the engagement party; Felicia loses her mind and gives Edie Mrs. Huber's teeth; and Hempy is a sex addict. |
2006.04.02 2006.04.08 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-17 Recap |
Could I Leave You?
Could I Leave You? - Bree passes out in a dressing room; Gabby only wants to adopt a baby from a good-looking mother; Lynette uses chocolate milk to sour a coworker's five-year-old's addiction to breast milk; Caleb has special feelings for Danielle; and Susan falls out of her wheelchair. |
2006.03.26 2006.04.01 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-16 Recap |
There Is No Other Way
There Is No Other Way - Gabby and Carlos's adoption plans are foiled when it turns out Gardener John's still-mad mother works at the agency. Susan, looped on pre-surgery drugs, tells Dr. Ron that she still loves Mike. Andrew frames Bree as a child-abuser in the hopes of becoming an emancipated minor, so Bree fakes sobriety to prove she's a fit mother. CreePaul narrowly avoids getting shivved. Tom and Lynette have sex in an elevator. |
2006.03.12 2006.03.18 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-15 Recap |
Thank You So Much
Thank You So Much - Bree passes out while babysitting the Scavo spawn. Edie mistakenly thinks that Karl is going to propose, and her hunt for a ring leads to an embarrassingly mangled chocolate soufflé. Gabby discovers that she might not be able to have babies, so her awful mother volunteers the use of her wizened womb. And Zana discovers that Mike is his real dad! |
2006.02.19 2006.02.25 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-14 Recap |
Silly People
Silly People - Bree unravels Betty's secret; Noah discovers he has a grandson; Gabrielle gets a new maid; Lynette eats raw bacon; and a runaway gay man leaves Susan at the altar, so Karl agrees to remarry her so that his insurance will cover the cost of Susan's wandering spleen surgery. |
2006.02.12 2006.02.18 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-13 Recap |
There's Something About a War
There's Something About a War - Tom gets a job at Lynette's office; Gabby gets Sister Mary Hotpants transferred to Alaska (cue the biting, hissing catfight!); Bree spots Caleb at the Applewrong's house, but Betty (who finds out about Andrew's covered-up hit and run) blackmails her into silence; and Susan doesn't want her inexperienced Little Doctor Friend anywhere near her wandering spleen. |
2006.01.22 2006.01.28 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-12 Recap |
We're Gonna Be All Right
We're Gonna Be All Right - Bree gets a DUI, Susan lures a young doctor with a fake illness, nude pics of Gabby appear online, Lynette wants Tom to get a vasectomy, and Felicia is dying Noah's new nurse! |
2006.01.15 2006.01.21 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-11 Recap |
One More Kiss
One More Kiss - Gabby kisses Tom as a joke, but Lynette isn't laughing; Andrew kisses Justin out in front of the Van de Kamp estate, and Bree isn't laughing (and things only get worse when Andrew tries to blackmail her); Susan and Julie set up Mike and Zana on a bowling date; and dead PI Ironside makes a surprise appearance on Wisteria Lane. |
2006.01.08 2006.01.14 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-10 Recap |
Coming Home
Coming Home - Zana and Andrew are home; Gabby stops Carlos from going to Africa by nearly killing him with egg poisoning; Susan is a WHORE (at least, that's what her garage door says); Betty and Matthew bust Caleb out of the nuthouse; Michael Ironside hates used ball-gags; and Lynette starts a daycare at work. |
2005.12.04 2005.12.10 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-9 Recap |
That's Good, That's Bad
That's Good, That's Bad - Lynette gets Bossy Boobs fired for having an affair with Receptionist Stu, Carlos gets out of jail early thanks to some nun-lobbying, Susan tells her bio-dad that she's his daughter (and he promptly has a heart attack), and Bree watches George die after discovering that he killed Rex and tried to off Dr. Goldfine. |
2005.11.27 2005.12.03 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-8 Recap |
The Sun Won't Set
The Sun Won't Set - Susan discovers the identity of her father, Bree learns that Georgie likes to burn up cars when he gets jealous, Gabby finally grieves for her unborn baby, the police cart away Caleb, and Receptionist Stu gets tased when he tries to help Lynette teach Tom yet another lesson. |
2005.11.20 2005.11.26 |
B- |
Evany |
| 2-7 Recap |
Color And Light
Color And Light - Susan sleeps with Karl, Gabby falls down the stairs, the Scavos' new friends are way into home-porn, and George throws Dr. Goldfine from an overpass. An OVERPASS! |
2005.11.13 2005.11.19 |
A |
Evany |
| 2-6 Recap |
I Wish I Could Forget You
I Wish I Could Forget You - Mike discovers that Susan sent Zana to Utah and dumps her. George manipulates a rashy Bree into "making love." Lynette buys a fancy suit. and Gabby lets the Lecherous Lawyer Bradley in on Victoria's Secret. |
2005.11.06 2005.11.12 |
A- |
Evany |
| 2-5 Recap |
They Ask Me Why I Believe In You
They Ask Me Why I Believe In You - Bree reburies Rex, Susan has troubles with her book agent, Lynette puts on her Boogie Shoes, the Lecherous Lawyer Bradley foxes his way onto team Carlos, and the Basement Buddy is an ax murderer, maybe! |
2005.10.23 2005.10.28 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 2-4 Recap |
My Heart Belongs To Daddy
My Heart Belongs To Daddy - Gabby hires Carlos a new lawyer, who arranges for Gabby to visit Carlos conjugally while also laying the groundwork for some future sexy Gabby time of his own. Susan and Mike are also sexing it up, but only because Susan secretly believes that Zana is gone for good. But then Susan finds Zana and, without telling Mike, sends Zana off to Utah. Andrew lures George into a meltdown at dinner; then puppetmaster George turns the tables, riling Andrew up so much that Bree sends her son back to reprogramming camp. And Lynette is jealous of Little Big P's imaginary friend/surrogate mother, Mrs. Mulberry! |
2005.10.16 2005.10.22 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-3 Recap |
You'll Never Get Away From Me
You'll Never Get Away From Me - A lie-detector test proves that Bree had no part in the Rexicide, but also reveals her hidden feelings for George. George passes his own "did you kill Rex" polygraph test because he's medicated and/or crazy and/or a Vulcan. Lynette scalds her boss's thighs with coffee so that she can cyber-be with P on his first day of kindergarten. Edie plays an ugly piano as Julie sings in the big church talent show, but only after Susan forces Edie out of the show and then guiltily steps aside at the last minute. Phyllis is gone and Felicia's back (but only for a second). And Gabby's really sorry! |
2005.10.09 2005.10.14 |
B |
Evany |
| 2-2 Recap |
You Could Drive A Person Crazy
You Could Drive A Person Crazy - Susan finds out Edie is sleeping with Karl and gets so mad she knocks the paperboy off his bike and then runs down Edie with her car. Phyllis hogs all the sympathy until Bree slaps off the waterworks. Gabby talks Carlos's cellmate's girlfriend out of a boob job, earning Carlos a beating. And Tom kills a rat. |
2005.10.02 2005.10.08 |
B- |
Evany |
| 2-1 Recap |
Next
Next - Bree gives Rex a last-possible-minute costume change. The Applewhites have someone chained up in the basement. Lynette gets a job. Gabby fakes a paternity test. Zana is Mike's son. And Susan? Isn't moving in with Mike and that crazy gun-toting, stick-swinging son of his. |
2005.09.25 2005.10.01 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 1-23 Recap |
One Wonderful Day
One Wonderful Day - Rex dies thinking Bree poisoned him, Zana hospitalizes Felicia with a hockey stick and then holds Susan hostage at gunpoint, Carlos finally finds out that Gabby's been sexing Gardener John, Lynette's going back to work, oh and Mary Angela murdered Deirdre. |
2005.05.22 2005.05.28 |
B+ |
Evany |
| 1-22 Recap |
Goodbye For Now
Goodbye For Now - Lynette's plan to get Annabel a new job backfires and gets Tom fired. Carlos the Pill-Tamperer gets the wrong end of the stick and pummels gay Justin because he thinks Justin's been sexing Gabby. Rex has another heart attack, but before Bree drives him to the hospital, she must first transform into a psychotic bed-making zombie. Oh, and Mike moves in with Susan. |
2005.05.15 2005.05.21 |
B |
Evany |
| 1-21 Recap |
Sunday In The Park With George
Sunday In The Park With George - Susan discovers that Mike is good, CreePaul discovers that Felicia has him cornered, and Gardener John discovers that Gabby's baby might be his. Tom's too late and Lynette's too drunk to make use of her French maid outfit, so Tom stages a do-over wearing nothing but a pair of chafing mini-briefs. Carlos convinces Gabby that Mama's to blame for her tampered-with birth-control pills. Bree shares her thoughts, hopes, and dreams with George. And Rex...does a crossword puzzle. |
2005.05.08 2005.05.14 |
A |
Evany |
| 1-20 Recap |
Fear No More
Fear No More - Gabby is pregnant and barfing-mad at Carlos for tampering with her baby-proofing pills. Master-manipulator George has Bree meeting up with him behind Rex's back for some private bonsai time. Tom's ex is back on the scene, and Lynette is mad enough to pretend she's happy with her kids. Julie breaks Zana's heart. Susan's kitchen explodes. And Sophie hangs a beaded curtain! |
2005.05.01 2005.05.07 |
A- |
Evany |
| 1-19 Recap |
Live Alone and Like It
Live Alone and Like It - In a surprising act of selflessness, Lynette saves her crank-pot neighbor from ODing on pain meds and bitterness. Gabby uses Gardener John's credit card to buy some strappy, Carlos-enraging shoes. Andrew isn't really gay, or at least not entirely...you see, sometimes he likes "vanilla ice cream," sometimes "chocolate," and sometimes he likes homemade bratwurst. He is, however, 100% evil. And Susan is 100% heartbroken. And Susan's mom is 100% tickle-machine. And the body in the toy box is none other than Deirdre, the needle in Mike's haystack. |
2005.04.17 2005.04.22 |
B- |
Evany |
| 1-18 Recap |
Children Will Listen
Children Will Listen - Bree does some spanking, Lynette does some blaming, Carlos turns abusive, Gabby is back to plowing the gardener, Zach is Dana, and the world revolves around Susan. |
2005.04.10 2005.04.16 |
B |
Evany |
| 1-17 Recap |
There Won't Be Trumpets
There Won't Be Trumpets - Some men are heroes, some women wear braids, some nurses can't hear, and some deaf women just won't listen. |
2005.04.03 2005.04.09 |
B+ |
Evany |