Episode Report Card Pamie: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rory's Sudden Freak-Out
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.07.2002
The whitest kids in the world enter the building in their tennis whites, and to continue the shout-out tradition of Season Three, one of them went to college with Djb. Jack and Jennifer are chummy sibs. Very chummy sibs, if you know what I mean. Jennifer, who looks a little like Jennifer Jason Leigh, immediately wants to schedule some time with Rory to discuss Harvard. She sits too close to Rory. Jennifer says she'll make a note in her Palm Pilot. Marie finally comes back with the iced tea. She says they should get the chicken going. The word "chicken" is said a few times as Darren announces that he's making his famous chicken for lunch. He tells Rory to "peruse" his old Harvard yearbooks. Jack tells Jennifer it's time for them to take a shower. "Ew," Lorelai says. Rory tells Lorelai not to be gross. Lorelai asks, "What? They bounced in together, they bounce out together." Rory tells Lorelai to lay off the slanderous posturing. Lorelai wonders how they could have just played tennis when neither of them was sweating. "Maybe when you're that white you don't sweat," Rory offers. Rory says that Darren is really nice and wonders if he likes her. They recap the mistakes they've recently made about sporting endeavors and Chai tea holders. Then Lorelai can't stop saying "Zoltan Kemeny" because it's funny. Rory begs her to stop until Marie comes back in and apologizes for interrupting the fun. Lorelai says they were joking about the photographs in the Harvard yearbook. Marie lets the girls have their fun.
Lunch. Lorelai thanks Marie for making such a beautiful table, and says they didn't have to go to so much trouble. Darren says it's their pleasure. Jennifer enters and coos, "Nice-looking lunch, Mom!" This family sucks. Rory and Lorelai take their seats as Lorelai notices a family portrait. There's another daughter in their family. Lorelai asks where she is. After an uncomfortable amount of stammering and pondering, the Springsteens say that the other daughter is off doing her own thing. Lorelai apologizes for asking. The other daughter's name is Carol, and she's a year ahead of Rory. "She's following her own path," Marie explains.
Time for a huge lunch. Darren tells Jack and Jennifer that they'll have to fight over the breast again, "as [they] always do." Lorelai and Rory share a look. Darren asks Lorelai where she went to college. Lorelai explains that she was too busy being pregnant. Rory brags that Lorelai went back to school at night and got her degree last year. Marie says it's wonderful. Darren calls it "refreshing," and says it might be to Rory's benefit to show Harvard how determined her mother is, and how they struggle for things. Nothing came in one fell swoop. He asks the origin of "one fell swoop." Jack says that it's Shakespeare. Darren asks a follow-up question, asking in which play Falstaff appears. Jack says that he appeared in the following: Henry the IV (Part I and II) and The Merry Wives of Windsor. Darren asks if it was a different Falstaff in Henry V. Jack curses. ["If you've seen Quiz Show, you've seen this scene already. Darren is no Paul Scofield, and Jack is sure as hell no Ralph Fiennes." -- Wing Chun] I've got an idea. The rest of this scene is mostly just bullshit and annoying trivia that I had to look up when I lowered myself enough to try to be a question-writer on Win Ben Stein's Money and Hollywood Squares and didn't get the gig on either. So, from now on, instead of writing all of this crap down, I'm just going to say "Pretentious Trivia," and you'll know what I'm talking about, okay? Because it's got to be even more boring to read than it was to watch. Darren explains that they love doing quizzes at meals to keep their minds sharp. Lorelai dumps food onto her plate and declares it very Kennedy-esque. Jennifer gushes that they love the Kennedys. "As do we all," Lorelai says with a wave of her hands. Pretentious Trivia for Jack. Pretentious Trivia for Jennifer. Pretentious Trivia for Darren. Inappropriately sexual pass at Darren by his daughter Jennifer, who thinks Daddy's brilliant. Pretentious Trivia. Nobody knows it but Rory. Jack and Jennifer Stepford "Very good, Rory!" Lorelai takes more bottled water as Darren asks her Pretentious Trivia. Lorelai, lacking the good book-learnin' and schoolin', doesn't get the answer, so Jennifer swoops in and saves her. Pretentious Trivia. Lorelai doesn't know the answer, but she knows that Istanbul is Constantinople. Rory asks to wash her hands. Marie tells her that the downstairs bathroom is being remodeled, so she'll have to go upstairs at the end of the hall. Lorelai compliments the painting on the wall. Pretentious Trivia. Pretentious Trivia. Darren announces a "Round Robin" round.