Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sacred Geometry
By Jeff Long | Season AS1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.05.2012
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Wow, Mondo's really showing off those legs! I guess, since Heidi's not around, that was kind of necessary. By the way, Heidi's not there. Neither are the judges, nor Tim! No Tim! Instead of Heidi, we have completely accentless Angela Lindvall. The judges are Georgina Chapman and Isaac Mizrahi. So, Mondo and his legs start off the show and we meet all of the returning designers, most of whom seem to really deserve their shot at winning the big prize, which includes a one year editorship at Marie Claire.
The designers all show a recent design and everyone is pretty impressive. Mila, naturally, makes something that is color-blocked and Anthony, sweet, sweet, Anthony makes something that Julia Sugarbaker would have loved. No surprises there. But, Rami makes a design that is inspired by the Disney Concert Hall (read: NOT DRAPED).
Then, they all go to the Flatotel and see an encouraging video message from Valentino. Half of the designers cry about it and I thought that was totally lame. The next day, they hear from Angela (who is really just no Heidi, I'm sorry) that they have to make a look reflecting the look they showed previously... with items from a 99 cent store. People are uvulating a lot this season, which I find odd. April from Season 8 has dyed her hair silver and I love it. Anthony decides that he's not going to be too critical of Elisa's nutty behavior, seeing as he had a grandmother committed to the "crazy house" and he knows from crazy. Joanna Coles, the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, is the mentor and she really brings an interesting perspective. She's super hard on Sweet Pea (love!) and Elisa. Austin Scarlett, whose improbably increased affectedness I am still wondering if I love or hate, burns a hole in his plastic dress and has to improvise.
OK, so Kenley. I don't know how I feel about her. I mean, whether I hate her more, the same or less. I'm thinking it's going to be the same or more. Sweet Pea, Elisa and Gordana are the bottom three. Rami, Jerell and Mondo are the top three. Rami wins! And he didn't drape! He's still a hot daddy though. Elisa, who is so amazing and talks about how she's into sacred geometry, which is maybe... MAYBE one of the most freaking awesome things I have ever heard in my almost 21 years on Planet Fitness, gets the boot. So sad, but at least that means that Sweet Pea doesn't go home. This is going to be nice, this season of watching these folks try to reclaim (or claim) some former glory. I've missed a lot of their energies. But, Kenley's there too, so we'll see. This tug boat has left the dock.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Guys! I'm scared of this show. It has so much potential ...for both good and evil. Maybe it will be this fascinating look into the minds of all these very creative hyper-ambitious people who get a second chance at the brass ring and become even more ambitious! That would be cool, right? Or, what if it's watching erstwhile reality show It-thangs whose talents have grown soft and their ambition has curdled, making them emotional slot machines just begging for some camera time. That would be sad. Well, let's forge ahead together.
Here's Mondo! I love Mondo! But, what the fuck is going on with those shorts? Seriously though, he's a cute enough guy. I don't know why he wants to look like an Olsen twin. They are SO short. He tells us that he made it all the way to the end of his season and his heart was broken. He says the typical stuff about how he's going to win this whole thing, which, I'm sorry to be so paranoid, is troubling considering Mondo was anything but typical previously. Then, who does he see? Michael Costello. Michael Costello is an all-star in something, guys. That's rude, but you know you were thinking something similar. He and Mondo embrace and he swings Mondo around. It's really very sweet. Mondo says that he knew he would see Michael there.
Here comes the rain, I mean, Mila. Y'all remember her and her color-blocking from Season 7, yes? She says that she's the best designer here (I guess she met everyone or nabbed a call sheet?) because she is fashion forward, contemporary and accessible. Blah. Getting close to the win during her season is what is driving her now. STOP IT -- it's Anthony Williams, also from Season 7! So happy to see him. He says that the most important thing that he learned when he was on the show was to never second guess himself. You see, that's funny, because I always felt like his problem was not like third and fourth guessing himself. There wasn't a lot of depth to his designs. He knows that some people don't consider him much competition, but to those folks he's all, "You think this is a game? Let's go."
Here's Jerell, that drama queen from Season 5. I'm gonna need a Red Bull to get through another show with this guy. Or some chamomile. With honey. I have to take care of my instrument. That's right. Jerell tells us that he doesn't want to leave without a sash and an oversized tiara. Oh my... here's Elisa Jimenez. Of Season 4. I have watched so much television. You remember Elisa -- hippy, survived a car accident, maybe touched in the head. She's just lovely. Well, she says that she has entered this experience with the belief that she can take a huge prize away from it. Austin Scarlett is here too. He tells us that someone had to put the star in all-star. I'm already falling asleep. Don't get me wrong, I loved Austin just as much as everyone else did in the beginning. Now though, he just seems far too precious. I can't really handle it. But, I guess I have to, don't I?