Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Dead and Buried
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.20.2005
Claire opens a gift from Ted: A CD labeled Ted's Deeply Un-Hip Mix. He makes her promise he won't listen to it until she drives away the next morning. "I can't play it tonight at my big farewell dinner that you won't even come to?" she asks. Well, no; there's no track titled "Clunky Exposition." Ted says everyone's going to want a piece of Claire, and he doesn't want to share her. And also, Alan Ball didn't want him in the scene. Claire in turn tearfully makes him promise that he won't let himself get drafted and go get blowed up in the Middle East "so Halliburton and Bechtel can get richer." He promises. "You're too smart," she says. "You're too good. Don't waste that." To his credit, he manages not to laugh in her face. It looks like a near thing, though. Or maybe he's trying not to cry. You figure it out.
Ruth sits around a table in Sarah's yard with Bettina and Bettina's daughter Marcie. They're drinking white wine, listening to Jackson Browne, and trying to think of a way to make money. They consider and discard meth labs, an assassin service, kidney-stealing, and violent-crime-scene clean-up. Bettina realizes they have no choice but to become hookers. Ruth, who's wearing her hair down and has raided Sarah's closet in addition to descending on her home, says she's thinking of starting a day care service for dogs, like the one Nate worked at. Because now that David's faced his demon, they have to think of another way to keep reminding us of that episode. George pulls up in the driveway in his Volvo (of course). Ruth waves him over. Bettina mutters, "Georgie Porgie. He hates me." And, scene. That was weird. But I suppose he needed to show up so we wouldn't be confused when we see him at the end of the episode.
Claire's phone rings as she gets ready for her big farewell dinner that Ted won't even come to. She doesn't pick up, but we hear yet another guy from New Image telling her that the company's been bought out by a company called Stock Options in Chicago. "I hope you haven't headed out her yet. Um, sorry." Beep. As Claire stands there, taking in the fact that this has just fallen through ["and that the dude didn't leave a phone number; if you want to make Claire's flying-without-a-net departure credible, get the details right, please" -- Sars], the camera swings around and spots Nate standing in a far corner behind her. "Ah, who cares," he says. "Go anyway." Claire hyperventilates about going to New York with out a job. "Mom gave you the money. You're gonna land somewhere. You'll be fine." Yes, I'm sure she'll find a lovely subway grate. "You're talented. You're smart. You're ready." Claire wonders what happens if she's not. And suddenly Nate is next to her instead of in front of her, offering to tell her a secret: "I spent my whole life being scared. Scared of not being ready, not being right, not being who I should be. And where did it get me?" Claire wonders what to tell everyone at the big farewell dinner that Ted won't even come to. "Nothing!" Nate says, and then, intensely: "You can't stay here."
Later that night, every light is on in the Fisher house, which is now the Fisher/Charles house. David proudly gives George a tour of the place. The room that used to be one of the laundry rooms is now "video game central." David proudly says that he's made it to Moscow on Tony Hawk Underground. "You can't imagine the respect it bought me." They move on to the living room with its new windows, where Keith is reading to Maya while Claire takes a photo of them. Ruth leads Bettina down the stairs, saying, "It's like I never lived here." Bettina complains about the beige, until she gets to the kitchen, which she loves. Before we get a good look at that, though, there's a glimpse of Brenda playing poker with the kids in whatever room lies beyond the kitchen. "Does it hurt to have a baby?" Anthony asks. "Yes, it does," Brenda understates. And now we get a look at the kitchen, where the walls are all done in red with white trim and cabinets, with a giant chrome stove and hood that looks like an evil robot. "It's a little intimidating," Ruth confesses to Bettina. "It's gay," Bettina corrects. "It's a 100% gay kitchen." Bettina comments that the old table looks a little out of place, and Ruth says the guys will get around to getting rid of it. Sure they will. After gutting and redecorating the entire house in a matter of weeks, I can't imagine them not "getting around to" anything. And one minute later, the long tracking shot that constituted that entire scene is over.