Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Monkey Sex And Strumpets
By Sara M | Season 2 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.26.1998
Snappy gives Eric a big ol' dinosaur hug as Annie clears her throat jealously. Snappy disengages herself from Eric and runs over to Annie to give her a hug as well, calling her "Ewic's wittle wife." Damn, that's patronizing. Snappy says that "when children's dreams are shattered, the whole world weeps. Some would even say that that's how oceans were formed." And for saying that, Snappy, you officially suck. Doesn't matter how much you annoy Ruthie now -- you suck forever. Annie wonders if scientists would agree with Snappy's assessment of the formation of our planet's largest bodies of water. Whoa, was that yet another reference to the possibility of human evolution? I'm feeling a little encouraged here! Maybe Brenda's finally ready to enter the sixties! Snappy leaves Annie her business card, which she just happens to have in her dinosaur suit hand, and leaves. Poor Snappy is barely three feet away from the house when Annie tells RevCam to go upstairs and see if Snappy did Ruthie any permanent damage. Then she walks into The Den Of Pedophilia and asks if anyone wants ice cream. Kyle and Casey jump up and say they do, then realize that they're not being very mature and sit back down, calmly stating that ice cream would be lovely. Annie asks Simon to help her in the kitchen, to which Mary and Lucy immediately offer their services instead. Annie cruelly says that they need to stay and entertain their dates, like, what kind of lesson is she even trying to teach them? Don't date children? I think they already know that one.
Mary tells Kyle that it's not cool that he tricked them into dating him and his brother. He says that he never tricked her -- he called and said he was her brother's friend, and he is Simon's friend. If she assumed he was Matt's friend, that's her fault, not his. He looks pretty pleased with himself, as Lucy glares at Mary for being so damn stupid that she didn't realize that the kid she was talking to on the phone hadn't hit puberty yet.
Post-prom, Matt and Connie sit on the steps outside the high school. Connie and Matt say that they had fun, and then agree that it's too early to go home, and then they smooch as the scene fades out. I am so nervous about Matt losing his virginity. Stay strong, Matt! Promise Keep!
RevCam and Ruthie talk in her bedroom as ABC Family uses the bottom left corner of my television screen to remind me to watch Dance Fever. Well, that was funnier than any of the intentional jokes on this show. RevCam tells Ruthie that he didn't know that Ruthie was under the impression that Snappy was a real dinosaur. Ruthie says she isn't anymore, and even worse, Snappy is her dad's old girlfriend and she talks in a baby voice. You know, Snappy probably skipped her speech therapy appointment just to see you, Ruthie, and you repay her by mocking her speech impediment? That's pretty harsh. RevCam psychobabbles on about how babies prefer to be spoken to in baby-talk, but no one cares, so he asks Ruthie about her newfound atheism. He lays on the guilt: "It kind of gets me right in the heart, because God is so real to me." Ah, so the mystery of RevCam's heart problems are solved: it was all Ruthie's non-believing fault. Also, if God is so real to RevCam, you'd think that he would actually talk about Him more. Or at least have, like, one picture of Jesus somewhere in the house. Ruthie says that you can't see God. RevCam launches into a sort-of sweet speech about how you can't see wind, pain, or happiness, but you can see their results in waving trees, tears, and smiles, so you know they're real. Ruthie cares not for such poetry; she just wants to know if something bad will happen to her if she doesn't believe in God, and if something good will happen to her if she does. And therefore Ruthie shows us how religion becomes the opiate of the masses. RevCam says that he believes in God, and that both good and bad things have happened to him. I would say more bad things than good, seeing as how he's married to Annie and all of his kids suck. RevCam says that believing in God helps him get through the bad things, and then he can enjoy the good things. For example, it was bad that Ruthie went backstage to see Snappy, but it lead to the conversation they're having right now, which is good. Then he notices that his rude-ass daughter fell asleep while he was talking. RevCam puts her doll next to her head and sighs. By the way, Ruthie's doll? African-American. I wonder what the prop department is trying to tell us there.