Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Stupidly Tilting Planet
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.02.2006
Roslin, silent Tigh, Racetrack, and Skull watch Gaeta brief Adama on the planet in his quarters: "There's [sic] some extremes at the poles that we couldn't withstand, but that's not unusual." Adama commends Racetrack and Skull, and they are happy. And now officially in possession of shiny new SAG cards!
Over to Pegasus, where Apollo is briefing...whoever's left, I guess on the same stuff again.
In the Petty Quarters, Gaeta is coming out of the shower as Dualla's undressing for her own, and they talk about the same stuff again, and Gaeta notes that the dradis interference might protect the planet from Cylon detection.
In his lab, Baltar's bitching about "this stupid planet" to Zarek and Six, and how the whole Fleet is in an uproar for nothing. Zarek stares at the screen and specs of the planet, and Six lies seductively across a desk behind him, watching Gaius. "You're not seeing the big picture," she says. "This is your new home. The place where you will lead a new life. This is the future, Gaius." Um, last year you said the same thing about Kobol, no? Look, lady. He responds to her dismissively, and Zarek begs his pardon, and then a lot happens at once. "Can you imagine if we actually had to live on that thing?" Baltar asks, wanting Zarek -- sorry, "Tom" -- to side with him against the invisible robot inside his head. But instead, Zarek -- who actually knows a damn thing -- gets confused by the Baltar Mystique, and stares at the map, saying, "You...are a genius." I love how the Mystique makes it all happen. "And?" says Gaius, with a tiny little "what of it, fool?" at the end, even though it's Zarek, as usual, that is the actual genius. "Pay attention," says Six portentously. "You're about to win the election." Chills, people. I love lines like that.
Baltar snaps to, and asks Zarek to elaborate. Zarek explains, "We needed an issue. Something to set us apart from Roslin. Something to put her clearly on the wrong side of a major issue that people care passionately about. This is it: permanent settlement on this planet." Six smiles, peaceful. Of course, Gaius has zero cool: "Permanent settlement here. Have you lost your marbles?" No, I've got them right here next to my Pay Attention, Idiot. Six steps up to Zarek, sniffing him with her eyes, completely taken in. "It may look dreary. It may be dreary, but it's solid ground under your feet, and a real sky over your head. You'd be surprised what a powerful idea that is to people cooped up in metal boxes for nine months." Six begs Baltar to listen, still immensely turned on: "He's a smart, sexy man, just like you." But if she's not...then does that mean that Gaius is even more...I've been joking about...wait, what? Gaius comes into sharp-as-hell focus, between Zarek and Six: "Oh, give up." I love it. "I will certainly not be having an invisible threesome with Tom Zarek, regardless of the fact that Maier's dead. Do you know what that could do to my numbers?" Zarek wonders whom Baltar's talking to, and Gaius as usual gets CYA about his ongoing hallucinations: "Give up...on Earth?" He stands up and realizes, finally, what Zarek's saying. "Oh dear Lord," he thinks. Gaius circles around the table, coming closer to Zarek, pointing at the screen, getting it slowly: "So we'd settle...here." Zarek's like, "Dude, yes! Man!" Gaius stares at Tom, who laughs happily. "Yeah, it's starting to look like a lovely little planet after all," says Gaius, and then they shake hands. And possibly make out.
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