Episode Report Card Gustave: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The return of Lady Mac
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 12.02.2002
CTU. The interrogation room. Kiefer enters for his promised "five minutes" and asks Nina once more for the name of her kontact in Visalia. When Nina doesn't answer, he takes out a gun -- why not? -- and shoots a few rounds at her head. The bullets don't hit her, of course, but it freaks her out enough to make her tell Kiefer that her kontact's name is "Mamud Faheen." Kiefer already knows about Mamud Faheen, but Nina claims that she's the only one who knows where he is. She goes on to explain breathlessly that Faheen introduced her to Wald, and that's how he got the schematics for the bombing of CTU, which she never realized had anything to do with a nuclear strike on Los Angeles. She refuses to give Kiefer Faheen's location until they get to Visalia because -- as she explains amid a sniffle or two -- she won't be needed once they find him, and her pardon won't mean anything if Kiefer kan still kill her. Mason, watching on the KieferKam, orders Bitchelle to alert the authorities in Visalia. Oh, and according to its official site, "Visalia is a city located in California's San Joaquin Valley, a large and agriculturally rich basin that runs through the center of the state. Equidistant between San Francisco and Los Angeles, Visalia can be found just east of Highway 99 on Highway 198, the pathway to the Sequoia National Park." I should have known that Visalia existed when it didn't show up on spell-check.
NSA. Rolaide confirms for Palmer that there is indeed a military evacuation taking place in Los Angeles. Are there extras in uniforms shown pulling out of L.A.? Of course not. They didn't have any funds left over in the budget after they got that bed set-up for PoorMan'sReneeZellweger, so we're just going to have to take Rolaide's word for it. Palmer asks her who gave the order for this evacuation. Rolaide tells him that it was Yulin. Then we get this pan over to Yulin, who is sitting at a desk looking really guilty. He's also wearing a ring on his middle finger that is way too big to be worn by a male heterosexual with a government job. Palmer orders Rolaide to countermand the evacuation order, and calls Yulin into his office to bust him. When confronted, Yulin claims -- unconvincingly, mind you -- that he was just following the procedure Raygun had already put into place. He apologizes profusely for not double-checking everything with Palmer, and takes full responsibility. Yulin leaves, and Palmer tells some unseen secretary that he'll be meeting with Lady Mac in twenty minutes.
St. Virgil's. Hush little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna sing creepy Mother Goose songs to you while he prepares to evade the police. JonBenet is dressed and ready to go. DaddyStopTouchingMe whips out a pen knife, cuts off her hospital wrist tag, and stresses the importance of not talking to anyone who tries to stop them from leaving the hospital. A sassy black nurse with closely cropped natural hair enters, looks suspiciously past DaddyStopTouchingMe at JonBenet in her street clothes, and informs DSTM that he has a phone call. DSTM is all, "Why can't I take it in here?" SassyBlackNurse is all, "Because we don't have phones in the room unless you specifically order one." Oh, you do not want to piss off SassyBlackNurse. She is not a just cultural stereotype, or the source of witty one-liners or relationship advice. She is a cultural reality. There is one of these ladies working the floor of every single hospital of every single major city in the U.S. and she does not miss a trick. She will take your shit past a certain point because she is a professional, but once you cross the line you will feel her wrath. If you piss her off enough, she will calmly type your name into a database, and every single Sassy Black Working Woman from here to Elko, Nevada will be up your ass: Sassy Black Waitresses, Sassy Black Hotel Maids, Sassy Black Receptionists will unite to make your life a living hell, and you will never get a second cup of coffee, fresh towels, or a phone message again as long as you live. And don't even get me started on what the gay Mafia will do to you.