Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Groundhog Slay
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.25.1999
A cuckoo clock goes off, which could also be meta-commentary, considering that Rodriguez is approaching. Before he does, though, we see Tempus standing in front of the shop, peering over a newspaper. Tempus, you know I like you, but there's no need to appear inconspicuous -- you're in San Francisco. Even your Trek-convention attire isn't going to turn heads. Rodriguez grabs a flower off a nearby stand, and, immensely pleased with himself, says that he made Andy suspicious, so Prue will be forced to meet him to find out his deal. Tempus reminds him that he needs to get all the sisters together, but Rodriguez counters that Andy won't let her meet him without the Power of Three. Tempus wonders if he really thinks he can defeat all of them, and Rodriguez, ten minutes behind everyone else, cottons on to the idea that Tempus thinks he's going to fail. Tempus counters with a delicious, "Time will tell." Hee. Back on your knees, Rodriguez. Oh, ew. Sorry.
[72virg=ins]. Phoebe bustles in with a new outfit for Piper, who calls her over, babbling that the "segment producer" will be there at any moment. She reveals a stain on the sweater of her matching outfit, but really, since the outfit's not that dressy to begin with, she could have just ditched the jacket and done the segment in a sleeveless top. I mean, she's cooking, here. Anyway, Phoebe thankfully interrupts her with the rather urgent news about Andy. Piper's freaked, but there's little time to process, as a woman smarms Piper's name from across the restaurant. Piper amusingly pulls Phoebe close to her to block the woman's view of the stain. Hee. Phoebe may not be a wage-earner, but she can be used as a human shield. Actually, that would be a really good job for her. Anyway, the woman, who's got red hair in an updo and is wearing a powder-blue-with-ugly-stripes suit that's supposed to be expensive but looks horribly tacky (not that those are mutually exclusive), says that Piper hasn't changed a bit. Piper's dumbfounded look clues her in that Piper doesn't recognize her, so she helps out with a "Joanne Hertz, Baker High, Class Of '92!" Now, I don't want to say she's had work done, but I just paused the picture on Joanne to write a few sentences, and I got a nice little flashback to the first time I saw a Picasso painting, so take from that what you will. Anyway, the kicker is that Joanne is the segment producer. She moved to New York and was trashy enough in bed to marry a rich guy who gave her a cable show in order to get her out of his hair, and voila -- Food Network's most popular show! Well, that's not quite the story she tells, but y'all are old enough to know the real deal. Oh, and the last word on Joanne? If she's seven years out of high school, then so am I. Anyway, she bitchily asks what Piper's been doing, like she doesn't already know if she's the segment producer. Piper freezes her, because she needs a pep talk from Phoebe, who comes through surprisingly well. She wraps up with, "Unfreeze that bitch in heels. We've got a demon to fight." Hee.