The 2003 MTV Video Music Awards
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There's also -- and this is pretty unbelievable -- Kurt Loder. Kurt f-ing Loder. How old is he? He's so old, he killed the Radio Star. |
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So it's been a year, and Pamie and Stee are back recapping yet another awards show. We know it was technically during a different show, but we came across this and thought it was too funny in light of tonight. Here's what we said just over a year ago:
Pamie: Welcome to the 2002 MTV Movie Awards!
Stee: If we're here during the 2003 MTV Movie Awards, you may shoot us both.
Pamie: Find us and shoot us. ["Me too." -- Wing Chun]
Stee: But, like, with rubber bands...because I really don't want to die.
Wow. We don't know whether to be sad that, a year later, we'll still right here, or happy that, a year later, we're still right here. We'll let you know. ["I think it's a little of both." -- Wing Chun] Let's get started...
So, before the show, there is the usual pre-show crapness, featuring the usual MTV tools, like Sway and crackle-toothed John Norris and Spoogen or whatever her name is. There's also -- and this is pretty unbelievable -- Kurt Loder. Kurt f-ing Loder. How old is he? He's so old, he killed the Radio Star. And all of these VJs are so goddamn terrible at interviewing. Ludacris is a better interviewer. Jack Osbourne is better. Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is better. Okay, well, we don't want to get crazy...
Pamie: That damn SuChin is finishing up.
Stee: Now, SuChin...she won a contest, right? She's not actually a VJ. Please tell me that.
Pamie: She does that thing to me that happens to Kramer when he hears Mary Hart's voice.
Stee: I'm gonna interview you in the style of the MTV Video Music Awards opening.
Pamie: Okay. And I'll do it like a guy who's there.
Stee: "Okay, okay! So Pam! I mean, I mean...! Hey, there's...! I'm standing...! Hey! I...there's....! Thanks, Kurt! I'm standing here on the red carpet with...Pam--"
Pamie: "Right, right, true, true!"
Stee: "So, Pam! This is absolutely amazing here tonight, isn't it?"
Pamie: "Oh, you know, it's like I'm saying, I've been, I mean, you know. I'm just here. I'm just sayin'. You know, everything's been a really good year and we're all just really happy about everything--"
Stee: "--Is--?"
Pamie: "--and how everything has worked out."
Stee: "Now, isn't our red carpet really red?"
Pamie: "Oh, you know, it's like I'm saying, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's like, crazy, man, it's like, amazing."
Stee: "Now, I understand that you, uh, don't like Kurt Loder. Is that true?"
Pamie: "Oh, you know, it's like I'm saying. Everybody has like, things going on and stuff and it's like, you kinda, you know, you work through it. You know, and everything. But my new album, CHICKEN AND RED MEAT, drops October7th, and that is what it's all about. CHICKEN! CHICKEN! OCTOBER SEVENTH!"
Stee: "All right..."
Pamie: "WOOOOOO!"
Stee: "How many, how many hours a day do you watch MTV?"
Pamie: "What? I'm sorry, I was talkin' to my boy! That's my boy right there! T-Bok! And T-Bok, come over here, T-Bok! Woooo!"
Stee: "I forget..."
Pamie: "WOOOOO!"
Stee: "I forget who I'm...who you're talking to."
Pamie: "Oh, you know, it's like I'm saying."
Stee: "Hey, fat guy! Uh...Sway! Umm...."
Pamie: "Wooo! October 7th!"
Stee: "SuChin! Someone help me!"
Pamie: "October 7th! October 7th!"
Stee: Man.
Pamie: And now...the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards! In the hizzy!
continue to pg 2
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