Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Time for Plan E
By M. Giant | Season 7 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.27.2009
At 3:26:54, a helicopter lifts off from the FBI-DC helipad, apparently having just dropped off Kiefer and Walker. Janis leads them down the stairwell, telling them they already have Hodges all tucked into an interrogation room that they've converted to a medical suite. And converted it awfully quickly, I might add. As she lets them into an observation room, she adds that the death certificate is covered. "As far as the world knows, he's molding on a slab at the coroner's." The speed of the death certificate alone should be enough to raise red flags, actually. "Keep it that way," Kiefer says as he goes inside. Walker confirms with Janis that no one else knows, other than the medical team, ambulance driver, and three security people. And, from what we're about to see, a rather large AV department. Before Walker follows Kiefer in, Janis quietly voices her concern to Walker about whether Kiefer's up for this. And she doesn't mean the seizure. "His former partner betrays him, tries to have you all killed. Jack must have some feelings about that," Janis points out. Walker agrees. "I think that's what's keeping him going," she says as she precedes Janis into the observation room. Oh, well, that's okay then.
Inside, Hodges can be seen on live video monitors, lying in a hospital bed and, as always, ranting away at the cameras. "You didn't save me, you killed my family!" is the general thrust of his current filibuster. Watching through the two-way glass, Kiefer asks how long he's been awake. Janis says ten minutes. "He's been talking about his family ever since." Those must have been ten very long minutes for Janis. She points out the "highly sophisticated" biometric monitoring equipment that's been set up in a matter of minutes, which, as far as I can tell, consists of one monitor that shows Hodges's face in what's probably supposed to be heat-sensitive imaging, but just looks like a color-saturated music video from the 80s, circa Duran Duran or Power Station. However, Walker seems to think it'll tell them if Hodges is lying. Assuming he doesn't know how to fool the machines, that is. After all, some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on. Before Kiefer goes in, Janis warns him that Taylor will be watching. The part where she says, "so behave, you" goes unspoken.
Inside, Hodges turns to the soldier posted next to his bed and begs him for his sidearm so he can shoot himself. Despite having had to listen to Hodges's rantings all this time, the soldier is slow to comply. I would have been like, "Actually, I was just about to shoot myself, but your plan is much better." But unfortunately, it's time for Kiefer's dramatic entrance line. "Relax, Mr. Hodges. You're already dead," he intones from the shadows near the door. Kiefer excuses the sergeant, and Hodges peers into the gloom, asking, "Who are you?" Kiefer steps into view, saying, "My name is Jack Bauer, and right now I'm the only chance your wife and children have to stay alive." Kiefer explains that nobody knows Hodges survived, and if he tells Kiefer who wants him dead, it'll stay that way. "The president has agreed to provide you with a death certificate and witness protection in exchange for actionable information." Watching this live in the Oval Office with Taylor and Tim, Olivia gets up and storms out in a snit. So she misses the part where Kiefer will tell the press that Hodges is alive if he doesn't cooperate. "We'll let your friends take care of the rest," he sneers. Hodges says Taylor doesn't have the stomach for that, but Kiefer leans over Hodges's face and says that even if Taylor doesn't, he certainly does. "I am...I was part of a larger group of like minds," Hodges says. Unhinged ones? Kiefer asks if he means other companies like Starkwood, and Hodges, says, "I mean people who can protect this country better than any government ever could." Unimpressed, Kiefer pushes Hodges to get more specific, since he's talking about a pool of tens of thousands of people. "Only a handful with the guts and the vision to do what was necessary," Hodges says. Which is? "The plan was to launch simultaneous attacks early next year. Multiple cities so the people would see that the government can't protect them. They'd demand drastic measures and we'd step in." Wow, that is diabolically...moronic. Kiefer asks how that would be justified, and Hodges says they'd simply pin it on someone else. "Mohammed this, Ahmed that, from sleeper cells the apologists say don't even exist." And he didn't think anyone would connect those attacks to the very same biological weapon he just threatened Taylor with tonight? The same one he and his company developed, which even in his scenario in which everyone in the world is even stupider than he is and thus would buy this story, "Mohammed This" and "Ahmed That" never would have gotten a hold of anyway, because it wouldn't have existed? Yes, I'm sure Starkwood's "protection" would have been very much in demand then. Jesus, Hodges, we knew you were crazy, but we had no idea how spectacularly dumb you are.