Episode Report Card Tippi Blevins: C+ | 15 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Abandon All Hope and Friends
By Tippi Blevins | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.08.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.For once, everyone in Damon's crew is getting along and having a good time, eating pancakes together and whatnot. That's how you know everything is about to go straight to hell, right? Damon's pride is still wounded over his confrontation with Skelos, and the constant pressure from Poppa T and Reverend Lowdown. Then Maya's ex starts coming around, and Poppa T tries to put the moves on Maya, and Damon's already shrinking manhood just about disappears entirely.
Meanwhile, Frank and Joe have a meeting with the mayor the next morning to go over the details of the case. Why Frank and Joe instead of Frank and Dani, when Joe wasn't even supposed to be working the case and Dani was the one who did most of the legwork? Well, because then we'd miss the absolutely thrilling scenes of Frank and Joe drinking beer, eating cold pizza and talking over the myriad scenarios of Brendan McCann's death.
When they're not coming up lies upon lies, they're checking in on their investment. The whole department has chipped in to sponsor Trey the boxer, and have a rousing time at his first big fight. He wins handily and everyone is in the mood to celebrate. For Dani, this means trying and failing to kiss Frank because he jerks away from her like whoa. See, she thinks he's single, but his heart and his freshly washed wang still belong to Katia.
At the blind pig, tensions come to a head when Poppa T and his men decide to rob Damon. They take all the remaining drugs and every bit of money, calling it their "taxes" for Reverend Lowdown. Everything goes about as smoothly as can be expected, right up until Gus decides to grab his gun and start shooting. Michael is shot in the gut, either by Poppa T or friendly fire, the end result is still the same. His friends drag him into Maya's car and tell him they're bringing him to the hospital. In reality, they're just letting him bleed to death while they drive around Detroit so that they don't have to explain anything to the cops. What's worse is Michael catches on to this, and dies knowing that his lifelong friends chose to let him die. Grab your antidepressants and stay tuned for the full recap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Damon shot a young black man named Billy Hobson and took off with his drugs. Dani's investigation into Billy's death converged with Frank and Joe's fake investigation into Brendan McCann's death, and their real(ish) investigation into the death of a confidential informant named Anton "Butterball" Bobek. Frank paid a friendly visit to Maya at the International House of Gangsters, warning her that she needed to stop doing whatever she was doing. She had other problems, like her ex-husband Sean, who's also an ex-cop and current drug-addled vagrant. Lieutenant Dawson got all het up about needing the McCann case solved, while Frank shuffled his feet and pretended not to be a murderer. Damon let a gangster named Reverend Lowdown think that he was running his blind pig with the blessing of another gangster named Skelos.
Currently: Damon and his crew are on a walking tour of Detroit, somewhere near the water, going by raucous cawing of gulls. Or maybe the birds are just laughing at Gus, like Damon and the rest of the guys are doing. They think it's pretty funny, his having to make do with just the one hand, thanks to getting the other one dunked in boiling oil. They all laugh and point out the things he can do one-handed, like jerk off or blow his nose. He can still shoot a gun, too, but nobody mentions that, lest they foreshadow too much. Everyone thinks this is funny except for Gus. "Doc says I gotta rewrap this five times a day for the next two weeks," he grumps. "Damn infection if I wipe my ass wrong." This just makes everyone laugh even harder. "Man, y'all can suck it," he says. "I only suck guys with two hands," Michael says. "Something about a one-handed man's penis, it really kills the mood." It's nice how they're all gritty little gangsters, but use proper words when talking about genitalia. Even Nick cracks a smile. Gus has had enough: "At least I didn't get bitch-slapped in front of everybody." Everyone gets quiet, waiting to see how Damon's going to react. He stops walking, turns to Gus and says, "At least I can take a shit without dying." Everyone's like, "Whew!" They go back to laughing now that they know their fearless leader isn't going to erupt in another limb-boiling rage.
"Besides," Damon goes on as they walk into a butcher's shop, "we made five grand last night, so the old man can choke it!" The butcher greets them from the counter: "Damon and the Chicken Boys!" Somebody just found their new gang name! Damon, feeling prosperous, orders twice as much chicken as last time, as well as two whole pigs. While the butcher looks over his stock, Damon swipes a snow globe off the counter, unseen by all but a teenager of undetermined gender. He does pay for his order, though, with a promise to pick it up later. "Yo, I don't think blacks can eat pork," Gus says. "You're an idiot," Michael tell shim.