Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dead Man Running
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.09.2002
Mike Binder: All right, you know what? I really don't appreciate you constantly portraying me as some kind of…whoa! Check out the funbags on that hot little hose-hound!
Alan Ball: Ew.
Aaron: I know. And also? We're the only ones here, so I really hope he's talking about you.
Mike Binder: Hey, I'm being serious. I mean, just where do you get off acting so superior, Mr. Marry Me Lauren? I'd like to see you try and put on a quality show, instead of just hiding out in your living room quoting the Bible and messing with other people's livelihoods.
Aaron: 1 Corinthians 2:15 -- "He that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man."
Mike Binder: Yeah, well, even the devil can quote scripture according to his needs.
Aaron: Which is why I'm surprised I've never seen you do it.
"Pretty bitchin', huh?" asks Nate, as he and Claire examine the newly installed casket wall. "When did you start getting a pup-tent over caskets?" asks Lauren, before teasing her brother that he's "turning into David." "Don't ever say that again," replies Nate. Then Rico arrives, prompting this week's ultimate Cute Claire Scene. "Welcome to Casketeria, can I take your order?" she asks, complete with a little hand gesture. Aww. Sigh. Rewind. The boys both laugh, and then Rico solemnly leads Nate into a back room somewhere to get an answer on his loan request. Meanwhile, Claire wants to know if she can hide stuff in the sample coffins. Well, I guess that's better than the aspirin bottle.
In the back room, Nate lays out all the reasons why they can't give Rico a loan, which basically boil down to fact that they just spent all their money on the casket wall. Rico is miffed, and starts in with the whole "I'm not a partner" thing again, causing Nate to finally snap: "God! You know, I've had it with you moping about not being a partner. It's not happening, all right? I wish I could help you, but I can't. I mean, fuck, we're your EMPLOYER, all right? We're not a goddamn savings and loan." Amen, brother. Rico really needs to shut up here, a point which is further proven when he attempts to guilt Nate by reminding him that his kids play "in a parking lot next to a dumpster." Whatever, Rico. When I was a kid, I thought dumpsters were cool, so I'm not even sure what the problem is here. Plus, parking lots are perfect for street hockey. Nate just looks uncomfortable as Rico storms out.
Now we get a quick DGDJ interlude down in the Body Shop, as Number 22 whines that he's scared of what's going to happen to him while Nate tries furiously to ignore him. "I was so young. Why me?" wonders 22, and that's finally enough to get Nate's attention. "Well, why the fuck not you?" he shouts. "What did you think, you were immune to this? Everybody dies. Everybody. What makes you so fucking special?" And as Nate realizes that he's screaming at no one, we all in the audience realize (once again) that the boy has some issues with death.