Episode Report Card Manimal: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mea Culpa
By Manimal | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.08.2001
Sloane's office. Big scary square-jawed agent. He's good-looking in the way that those scary Ken-doll type underwear models in a JC Penney's catalogue are good-looking. Which is to say, hardly. Sloane tells him to send a message to Spinelli's attention, and that they're sending it out via server five, and that they're ordering the assassination of Sydney Bristow when she makes her drop in Donati Park.
Tuscany -- wild Italian landscape of pointlessly convoluted and contrived entrances. Sydney, wearing a black jumpsuit and a cheap Cleopatra wig, parachutes in. Hard-driving guitar riffs play. It's Smashmouth or Crapbox or some other au courant alterna-band. She rips off the suit -- which actually turns out to be two pieces -- to reveal the skankiest outfit this side of a hooker convention. Basically, it's a sheer black lace slip, which is both backless and features a mock turtleneck, and over-the-knee black boots. It's so whorish that even Donatella Versace might blanch. Needless to say, the boots have four-inch stiletto heels. Also, all of Sydney's underwear is on display.
Sydney enters the party, which features a swanky pool and swanky staircases, and in general, this party drips swank. And skank. She eyes a guy chatting up two women.
Flashback. Marshall hands her a fake Nokia phone that hides a mechanism for scanning fingerprints off of surfaces and making a liquid latex version of said fingerprints -- but there's only enough latex for one.
Back to the party. The skanky dude leads both women upstairs (presumably to a bedroom) after depositing his brandy snifter on the table. Sydney walks over and scans it. She goes upstairs. At the end of the staircase, she sees a painting of a bride and whispers, "Dammit."
Cut to Francie, wearing a big white dress and veil, sitting in a boutique all alone. Around her are girlish giggles of glee as all the other brides-to-be -- and their friends -- whisper over possible choices.
Newsroom Of Dunderheads. Actually, Washroom Of Dunderheads. It's Will, crouched in a bathroom stall, whispering to the transmitter. He tells the transmitter EVERYTHING, and then tells the transmitter that he needs to talk to whoever it is, whether they killed Danny and Eloise or not. As Woody Allen would say, "Oh, for a large sock with horse manure in it." He whispers his cell phone number. Then he says, "Call me. Please. I need to talk to you."
The phone rings. Will starts. But it's just Francie, asking Will if he knows where Sydney is. He doesn't.
Back to Sydney, strutting down some palazzo hallway. She stops at a door and opens the back of the Nokia phone to don the latex fingerprint. After she gets past the electronic ID, she enters the office of Loden Jorgenmeister or whoever and places Marshall's scanning device, along with the piggyback CIA device, on his computer.