Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Human Reaction
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 08.19.1999
I'm not trying to be funny or anything when I tell you that as I was writing that last paragraph, this song came up on shuffle. I'm just a lowly crustacean, but: come on. Case closed.
The next morning, the sun is out, shining brightly over the city. (Now it's playing "Goldfinger," but God know what that means.) Aeryn sits in a chair, looking over a city map. She's wearing John's shirt and a black jacket and looks painfully sexy. John groans nudely from the bed, and Aeryn snaps, "Get out of bed, John. I've worked out that plan we talked about." He stutters: "Aeryn. Um...about last night." She's so awesome: "Yes. It's fine, John, it's just not top priority, right now." That's my girl. John groans and lies back. Aeryn: "I've gone through all of these pictures and I've found a few places that seem to be uninhabited enough to hide in." He's exasperated: "Aeryn." She looks at him, then away, like, "Fuck, are you gonna girl out or what?" It's about as weird as if Tango and Cash had woken up in bed together, is basically how Aeryn's acting, and it's hilarious. She doesn't know about any of this stuff, and what she does know, she has many different kinds of vested interest in pretending she doesn't, as we'll see later on in the series. John agrees, after a moment of silence, that they have to find a place to hide. "[So] let's go," she says, all frisky and businesslike. John: "No, no, no. You're not going anywhere, dressed like that." I guess she's just too hot to leave the house, because I see nothing wrong with the outfit except for the retina-burning awesomeness of it on her, in the morning light. She looks down, and then up at him, and we're I think up for a humorous quick-cut...
Yes. In the condo's living room, Aeryn's fretting over her new clothes, as we focus on her in the mirror being weirded out. John's almost smiling, because it's as weird for him as it is for us to see her in what she's wearing. Which is a strapless sun dress, with a light green sweater, and the dress is intensely flowery...but maybe only five years out of date, if it's 1999. For such an intensely beautiful and feminine woman, she gives good drag queen. It's weird to even look at, and Aeryn knows it: "Are you sure about this?" And: really? Is the point that she shouldn't be leaving the house in anything but a dress? Because it's not 1955. I mean, it's funny as hell and I love it when she wears "Earth clothes" for just this reason, but...whatever. I'm sure I'm missing something. Maybe it's a size issue and the only clothes they could find were the ones left behind by the previous renters, who just happened to be the entire Ashley family. If that's the case, you'd think the furnishings would be uglier. John cuts himself off, comforting her, at a knock at the door. They rush forward, Aeryn of course pulling her gigantic gun, and Jack calls to his son from outside. "It's my father," says John in a library whisper, and Aeryn's vindicated and pretty scary, given the outfit: "I knew it! He's betrayed us! There'll be soldiers outside!" John's like, "Dude." He opens the door, and Jack steps inside just enough for John to close the door.
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