Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Play Dom Jot, Hu-mon!
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.20.2001
Enterprise warps to the rescue of the Un-Fortunate. T'Pol reports weapons fire in the distance, and Reed can't figure out who's doing the firing. "Lay in a course," Quantum orders Mayberry. Weren't they already on their way?
Fortunate and Nausicaan ships. Shawn reports that the Nausicaans have boarded their ship, and Ryan asks how many there are. "Three," Shawn reports, and looks to Ryan for guidance. Ryan tells him to pass out weapons. "We know what they're after," Shawn says, by way of a protest, "Why not just let them have him?" Ryan stands stubborn and says they can fight the Nausicaans off as they have before. Shawn reminds him that that was one ship rather than three. "Weapons," Ryan repeats, not brooking any more arguments. Four armed Fortunate crewmen get into position in the corridors. There's some phaser fire, showing that Ryan is an exceptionally bad shot, and one Fortunate man goes down. Shawn helps the wounded and tells Ryan to "fall back." Ryan actually agrees and closes off passage doors. The Nausicaans follow in mod knee-length black leather coats and blast through the doors. Well-spoken and trendy.
Enterprise on its errand of mercy. Reed reports that the Fortunate is up ahead with three other ships. "Nausicaans," T'Pol clarifies. Quantum gives the orders to drop out of warp and polarize the hull plating. Since they're "in range" of the battle, Hoshi puts it up on the viewer. They pop some corn, grab sodas, and gather around, waiting for the Bud Bowl commercials. T'Pol detects four Nausicaan bio-signs aboard the Fortunate, as well as onboard weapons fire. Quantum looks grave. Mayberry looks constipated. "Hail the Nausicaans," Quantum orders.
The four modish Nausicaans continue to blast through the corridor doors as Ryan and his Merry Men lay in wait in the cargo module with the captured Nausicaan. The wounded hu-mon groans, and Shawn insists on getting him to the infirmary. "He's going to be okay," Ryan rasps. "I told you they'd come for me," the captured Nausicaan says, and chuckles. Ryan holds a phase pistol to his head and says, "Shut. Up!"
Enterprise. Quantum converses with one of the Nausicaan captains, who tells him, "We're involved in a rescue operation." Quantum mentions that there's an awful lot of phaser blasting going on for a rescue. "We want our crewman back," Cpt. Nausicaan says. "He wouldn't be there if you hadn't attacked them in the first place," Mayberry says, letting his "boomer" roots carry his mouth away. Quantum gets all Gandhi on the Nausicaan captain and says that they have an opportunity to improve the relations between humans and Nausicaans. "We're happy with our 'relations' the way they are," Cpt. Nausicaan says. So there! Quantum plays Let's Make A Deal and says that they'll get their crewman back, and the Nausicaans will allow the Fortunate to go on her way. "You're facing three of my ships," Cpt. Nausicaan says, holding up three fingers. "We're not interested in your proposals." Quantum pulls out his ace in the hole: "We've scanned your ships -- Mr. Reed?" "Fore and aft plasma cannons. I doubt those shields of theirs would hold up to our torpedoes," Reed reports derisively. We're getting married, and you're all invited to the wedding. Quantum puffs up his Starfleet studded-chest and says, "You're not sneaking up on an old freighter this time -- this is an NX-class starship. Take a good look, because you'll be seeing more of them. Now, you can reconsider my offer or you can take your chances." "If you think you can convince them to return our crewman, do it quickly otherwise we'll be forced to 'take our chances,'" Cpt. Nausicaan hisses. The Nausicaans were one degree removed from ape-speak on TNG, which is two hundred years after this show. As if any of us even need reminding of that, but I've never heard of a language getting worse with time. Well, not that much. I mean, sure, I have my issues with the English language -- considering not many people run around saying "forsooth" and "anon" anymore -- but to go from "if you think you can convince them to return our crewman, do it quickly otherwise we'll be forced to 'take our chances,'" to "Play Dom Jot, hu-mon," before stabbing Picard through the heart, shows quite a degradation of the Nausicaan language, would you agree?
Fortunate. The Nausicaans break into the cargo module; there are more phasers fired. Suddenly, The Voice Of God booms, "Enterprise to Ryan, this is Jonathan Archer." How did he get on their PA system? Maybe he's just speaking through a megaphone through outer space and they can hear it. Yes, I know that in space, no one can hear you scream, but it's not like the writers have been paying much attention to scientific facts. I think we all agree on that . Quantum continues, "We're ten thousand meters off your starboard bow. I know you can hear me. Why don't you think about what's best for your crew, and let us help you." "What a relief," Ryan growls sarcastically. "Starfleet's come to save the day." "I've spoken to the Nausicaan captain," Quantum goes on. "He's willing to let the Fortunate go if you turn over his crewman." Ryan says, "And you believe them? What, you believe that they're going to let us just fly away?" Apparently, Quantum can hear Ryan as well, because he says, "I've got an armory full of torpedoes that will make sure they do." More phaser fire in the cargo module. Ryan asks what happens the next time a freighter gets attacked in the middle of nowhere: "What then?" Quantum tells him he's got a chance to make sure no one gets hurt this time around, and Ryan responds that he's speaking to the Nausicaans in their own language of violence.