Episode Report Card Ragdoll: C+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Life Lesson: Everyone Take Off!
By Ragdoll | Season 1 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.03.2004
Luke and Nathan arrive at his place after their practice. It must be Saturday. Nathan jokes, "Check it out, Hails, an entire afternoon together and no one threw a punch!" Haley looks down at the computer and says quietly, "Can I talk to Nathan alone, please?" Luke says, "Yeah! Sure. I'll catch you guys later." Nathan sits down and asks her what's up. Haley has her poor-me voice on as she tells him she was doing research when she found the site. Nathan makes some excuse about how he stumbled upon the site and it's no big deal. But remember, it's a Big Deal for Haley. She's a virgin with a capital "V": "What about the half a dozen other sites that you stumbled upon and bookmarked?" She launches right into her woe-is-me speech: "It's hard enough that I have to compete with the girls at school that just give it away. Now, I've got to be a porn star." He tells her she's overreacting. She doesn't think she is, and his web porn hurts her. He argues that he's a "guy," and that "guys" look at this stuff. She says, "Well, don't be a guy, Nathan, be a man." Because no men look at porn on the internet either. Oh no, men abstain from internet porn, it's the teenage boys who are making the industry what it is today -- not the unfulfilled, unhappily married Joe Blow in Winnipeg or anything. Give it a rest, Haley. ["And don't steal your lines from Say Anything." -- Sars] Haley continues, "I'm not a prude, and I think you know that, but the thought that this is what I'm going to be compared to --" Nathan interjects, "So this is what you're worried about, that I'm going to compare you to --" She shouts, "Yes! That's part of it. Nathan, it's hard enough for me to even think about being naked in front of you, and the thought that this is the standard I'm going to be held to, forget it!" He shouts, "Haley!" But she's already gone. Her high horse is hitched outside and is aching for some water and a good trot.
Back at the Westfield Mall, the police have joined mall security to look for Jenny. Jake arrives looking all agitated. Peyton apologizes. She even uses her hands to show him how upset she truly is about this whole incident. Peyton tells him they only looked away for a minute. He shouts, "You cannot do that!" The cop tells him to calm down, that they've got officers combing the mall right now. Jake says, "Oh calm down, take it easy, what do you think my daughter --" Of course, Nikki picks that instant to come up to them, calmly holding Jenny. She says, "What's up?" Jake shouts, "What are you doing, Nikki!" Nikki replies, "I took Jenny shopping and then we went on the carousel." Um, ew, the same carousel she and Luke did the nasty on a few weeks ago. That's gross. That alone is enough to make her an unfit mother. Nikki looks around and says, "What? What's the big deal?" Peyton screeches, "You stole her out of her stroller!" Nikki defends herself: "No I didn't. I picked her up because you two weren't watching her, and told you I was taking her shopping." Pause. "Besides, she's my daughter, not yours." Jenny's incredibly quiet for being a nine-month-old who was picked up by a stranger and then carted away. Regardless of whether Nikki's the mother, she hasn't been around, and the baby would have thought she was a stranger. Well, the cop finds that fact interesting; regardless of how Jake tells him that Nikki took off and stuff. The cop wants to know who has custody, and when he doesn't get a straight answer, he tells them to take the baby home and work it out. Jake turns toward Nikki and says scathingly, "You are unbelievable. You know that!" Nikki says, "Well, if you'd let me see her once in a while!" Jake stutter-shouts, "That's not going to happen! Not after this!" Nikki doesn't take the bait; in fact, she's cold and calculating: "You think I'm such a bad mother? You've made some pretty bad decisions where Jenny's concerned. I'm not sure I can trust you with her." Nikki! "I'm going to get custody, Jake. She's better off with me." Jake's face looks totally animated with anger. Like he can't believe what's happening. Like it couldn't get any worse. Oh, then Nikki cuddles the baby a little bit, holds her up in the air, and sweetly says, "I'm gonna see you soon, bunny! Yeah! Yeah!" She puts her back in the stroller and struts off like she's the Queen of the Damn Mall. Peyton tries to say something, but Jake's already storming off with Jenny in her carriage. He's pissed. He almost lost his kid to Psycho Nikki, how else would he feel? Looks like Luke's not the only one to screw things up now, hey, Peyton? People in glass houses and all that stuff.