Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B+ | 3 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT How Rumpy Got His Gilt Skin
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 01.08.2012
Mary Margaret's Hovel: Emma, drinking MacCutcheon's, has Sonic Youth cranking, as she attacks a toaster with such ferocity that, clearly, the damned toaster killed her puppy. When Mary Margaret returns home, she mercifully turns off the noise machine and asks what's going on. Emma tells her about Regina firing her, and says she wants the job back. They're soon interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Mr. Gold. Mary leaves them to their privacy. Gold heard about the sheriff's job and is surprised to see Emma has no fight in her. He should have seen her toaster assault. When Emma blahs at him, Gold says, "Ms. Swan, two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more. How would you like a benefactor?" He then shows her the town charter. While Regina can name a candidate, she cannot install him as sheriff. He has to be elected by the town. Huh. I wonder how that little loophole got into the Dark Curse.
Enchanted Forest, Rumpy's Village: Rumpy wakes Baelfire. While Bae says it feels wrong to run away, Rumpy says it's worse to die. They soon meet a beggar (Brad Dourif a.k.a. Grima Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings movies) , who is begging on the King's Road. It's a set-up, Rumpy. I mean, what kind of business is he going to do, there, in the dark? Rumpy doesn't listen, and gives the beggar some of what little he has and continues on his way. The beggar retreats into the forest, and the Duke's men come charging down the road. Rumpy is known for having been a deserter in his day. Once the Duke's men recognize him, they mock him with made up names and berate him "as the man who ran" -- right in front of his son. The Chief Jerk in Charge (CJiC) says, "Did he tell you how he ran and the ogres turned the tide of the battle, and all the others were killed, and he returned home to a wife who could not bear the sight of him? You see, women do not like to be married to cowards."
Rumpy begs CJiC to stop humiliating him in front of his boy, so CJiC changes the subject, announcing it's close enough to Bae's 14th birthday to take him now. Rumpy pleads with them, and promises CJiC in charge that he'll do whatever he asks. CJiC gets really juiced by humiliating Rumpy, so he makes him bow down and kiss his jerk-in-chargey boot and promptly kicks Rumpy in the face. Bae kneels by his father's side, and when all the jerks ride off, the beggar comes back out and promises to be Rumpy's benefactor, if only he'll take him home and feed him. Rumpy, for the love of all that's holy, do not listen to Grima Wormtongue!