Episode Report Card Joe R: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Free Goat
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 08.14.2005
Heylia's. The black folk are playing dominos while the white lady struggles to keep up with the slang and Conrad shops for rims on eBay. Nancy gingerly asks Heylia what her policy is regarding weed on credit. "This ain't fuckin' Macy's" seems like a solid enough policy to me. She says Nancy will have to leave some collateral. Vaneeta covets Nancy's shoes, and Heylia makes a failed bid for Nancy's wedding ring (a bid she retracts after giving it a second's thought) before deciding on Nancy's Range Rover. They tell her she can drive Conrad's bucket home. Cue the "white lady in a hoopty" jokes! Nancy does drive it home, and she draws some looks as she does.
Nancy hooks up the guys at Doug's poker game and smirks at Dean's bald head as she leaves. In the parking lot, she finds Celia spying on the building from her car. Nancy covers by saying she had to have Doug sign some papers for her, and she confirms that Dean was up there, playing poker. So now Celia's annoyed that Dean will come home "broke and stinking of marijuana," which she supposes is a better scent than "Oriental pussy." Nancy feigns ignorance but Celia tells her to drop it: "There are no secrets in this town." Nancy hides a smirk as says maybe there are a few. Celia's adamant that there are none. "You're having money problems, our children had sex, Judy Gordon orders Oxycontin over the internet and has developed quite a habit." "Jesus Loves You Judy?" asks Nancy, shocked. "Jesus Loves You Judy loves her hillbilly heroin," says Celia. "But you didn't hear that from me, I don't like gossip." I had to quote that whole exchange because that hillbilly heroin line is one of my favorites from the series. Nancy has to pretend she doesn't know where her car is rather than get in the hoopty in front of Celia, who eventually heads home to watch The Shield. She loves that Michael Chiklis.
Nancy returns home to find Silas pouting over Quinn in silence and Shane back up on the roof watching Dad TV. Silas doesn't want to talk about it, but he says everyone in his life ends up leaving him, and since he's talking about his dead dad, I won't even characterize that statement as a whine. Outside, there's a thud and a cry from Shane, who's fallen off the roof and busted his arm. At the hospital, Nancy has to pay with cash while a crazy old man harangues her about stealing a goat. Then he starts to mock Shane for crying about his arm, so Nancy has to threaten to shove that goat up his crazy ass. That was...random.